I couldn't resist passing this on to give you all a laugh for the day!!!

>TODAY'S Fast Forward: Rules of Work
>
>
>1. Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4:00 and then
>bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing.
>
>2. If it's really a rush job, run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes
>to inquire how it's going. That helps. Or even better, hover behind
>me, advising me at every keystroke.
>
>3. Always leave without telling anyone where you're going. It gives me
>a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are.
>
>4. If my arms are full of papers, boxes, books, or supplies, don't
>open the door for me. I need to learn how to function as a paraplegic
>and opening doors with no arms is good training in case I should ever
>be injured and lose all use of my limbs.
>
>5. If you give me more than one job to do, don't tell me which is the
>priority. I am psychic.
>
>6. Do your best to keep me late. I adore this office and really have
>nowhere to go or anything to do. I have no life beyond work.
>
>7. If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. If that gets out, it
>could mean a promotion.
>
>8. If you don't like my work, tell everyone. I like my name to be
>popular in conversations. I was born to be whipped.
>
>9. If you have special instructions for a job, don't write them down.
>In fact, save them until the job is almost done. No use confusing me
>with useful information.
>
>10. Never introduce me to the people you're with. I have no right to
>know anything. In the corporate food chain, I am plankton. When you
>refer to them later, my shrewd deductions will identify them.
>
>
>Valerah Hodges

Purchasing Control Coordinator
The University of Tennessee at Chattanooga
Purchasing Department
Phone # (423) 425-4461; Fax #  (423) 425-5332
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