Dear Ann,

Ann let me start by saying I have been married many times to HP 3000
computers.  System II, System III, Model 44(?never did get her real name),
Model 58 -changed my luck and hooked up with a 935, then a 947 and for
the last 4 years a 987.  Now these are not the only women ^H^H^H^H^H
systems I have married.

I have been quite honest with my wives ^H^H^H^H^H systems, and I have told
them
honestly that I have gone with IBM bigguns and IBM littleuns as well as
an affair with DG which was such a traumatic affair I fell for a DEC. Truly
a
disaster it was, and I returned in 1987 to the true blood line of the HP
3000's
I have known and loved.  Recently however I find my eye occasionaly flitting
askance at some lovely Unix (I love their primitive animalism) and Linux
(what middle aged man doesn't dream of young stuff?) and also at the
short skirted flirtatious NT.

My problem Ann, as I sit here late on a Saturday with my beloved is I
have begun to notice a trait within her which I have found in all my
affairs.  She does what I tell her to do, not what I want her to do.

What is a poor country boy to do?  Cast aside his true love and
chance the stormy seas of romance with another?  It is easy to
tell myself to just console myself with the fact she only has this
one small failing as opposed to the outrages of some of my earlier
and younger indescrestions, but it is so hard Ann, it is so hard.

I don't want to ruin our relationship, but I cannot go on with her this
way.  What shall I do?

Disconsolate in Harlingen