ON METAPHYSICS Deja Fu: The feeling that, somehow, somewhere, you've been kicked in the head like this before. ON DEEP THOUGHTS A day without sunshine is like night. ON PARADOX AND RETURN POLICIES There is a CD out entitled "The Worst of the Jefferson Airplane". If you buy this, take it home, play it, and enjoy it, should you take it back and demand a refund? ON HIGHER EDUCATION College is a fountain of knowledge...and the students are there to drink. ON MATHEMATICAL TRANSFORMS A polar bear is a rectangular bear after a coordinate transform. ON YOUTH "Some people say that I must be a horrible person, but that's not true. I have the heart of a young boy - - in a jar on my desk." - - Steven King, 3/8/90. ON PROBLEM SOLVING When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to resemble a nail. - - Abraham Maslow. ON MATERIALISM He who dies with the most toys, is, nonetheless, still dead. ON RELIGIOUS PRACTICES Photons have mass? I didn't know they were Catholic! ON INFINITY If you had everything, where would you put it? ON ECONOMICS The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity. ON PUBLISHING OR PERISHING I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name on top. - - English Professor, Ohio State University. ON REVISIONIST HISTORY What was sliced bread the greatest thing since? ON DATING When aiming for the common denominator, be prepared for the occasional division by zero. ON LAMENTATION Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most. ON POETIC LOVE When you're swimmin' in the creek And an eel bites your cheek That's a moray! - - The Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers ON MODERNISM Q: How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Two. One to hold the giraffe and the other to fill the bathtub with brightly colored machine tools. ON MATERIAL SCIENCE Character density: The number of very weird people in the office. ON EXTINCTION Save the whales. Collect the whole set. ON LITERATURE This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force. - - Dorothy Parker. ON HUMILITY To err is human, to moo bovine. ON EXPLANATION OF THE END "... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs." - - Robert Firth. ON PROPHECY The meek shall inherit the earth- - -they are too weak to refuse. ON EXCUSES I can't complain, but sometimes I still do. - - Joe Walsh. ON NUMBERS Grabel's Law: 2 is not equal to 3- - -not even for very large values of 2. ON WORLD POLITICS Diplomacy is the are of saying "nice doggy" until you can find a rock. AND FINALLY, ON DRUGS AND DEVELOPMENT There are two major product to come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to be a coincidence. Don Harrington Boeing Commercial Airplane Group (206) 931-4457 voice P. O. Box 3707 M/S 5J-34 (206) 931-9085 FAX Seattle, WA 98124-2207 [log in to unmask] These thoughts are owned by the person expressing them, and no one else!