Folks,

Sorry - this arrived, and I could not resist giving you all an early
"groaner" -- and it IS a groaner!

Cheers,
Joe


There's these two French Legionnaires in the desert, and they've been
separated from their unit and are lost. They've been wandering for several
days without food and water, and are nearly resigned to the fact that they
will soon die from dehydration, when as they reach the top of a sand dune,
they see a big, bustling market laid out before them.

Naturally, they can't believe their eyes and think it's a mirage, but as
they draw closer, they can hear the stallholders' cries, and they eventually
reach the market and realise that it's really there.

So the legionnaires rush up to the first stall they can and cry to the
stallholder, "Stallholder, we have been travelling in the desert for many
days, and have had no food or water. We shall surely die soon unless you
have some you can sell us. Tell us, do you have any sustenance for us?"

The stallholder shook his head and replied "I'm sorry, French legionnaire
type people, but all I have to sell is a load of bowls full of jelly, topped
with custard and cream, and lovingly sprinkled with hundreds and thousands
of pieces of fruit and cake."

The legionnaires look at each other, mildly surprised, and move on to the
next stall, where they ask the stallholder, "Mr. purveyor of fine foodstuffs
and the like, we have been travelling through the desert for days, deprived
of the necessary beverages and foodstuffs which are required for survival.
We shall surely die soon, unless you can sell us some skins of water."

The stallholder looked at them embarrassed, and confessed "Gentlemen, tragic
as I admit it is, I have none of the ingredients necessary to life for which
you ask me. All I have to sell is this large bowl of jelly topped with
custard and cream and sprinkled with hundreds and thousands of pieces of
fruit and cake, with a little cocktail cherry in the middle at the top,
there," he said, pointing out the glace cherry. "I cannot help you."

The legionnaires look at each other in desperation, and run on to the next
stall, where they demand of the stallholder, "Look, mate," (cuz they'd
stopped talking funny all of a sudden) "we need water or we'll die. We've
been travelling without water for days and need some now. Do you have any
you can sell us?"

The stallholder looked at his curl-ended shoes in shame as he confessed,
"Sorry, fellas, all I have to sell you is a bowl of jelly, with custard,
cream and hundreds and thousands of pieces of fruit and cake. I can't help
you. I'll have to condemn you to a long and lingering death through
dehydration."

The legionnaires were really worried by this point, and they went through
the market, stall by stall, asking each stallholder whether they had any
water they could sell them, and thus save their lives, but each stallholder
gave the same reply, all they had to sell was a bowl of jelly with cream,
custard and hundreds and thousands of pieces of fruit and cake.

Dejected and resigned to their grim fate, the legionnaires left the desert
market and walked off into the setting sun.

As they did so, one turned to the other and said, "That was really odd, a
big market in the middle of nowhere, and all they sold was bowls of jelly
with custard, cream and hundreds and thousands of pieces of fruit and cake."

The other turned to face his companion and replied, ...  "Yes, it was a
trifle bazaar."