FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: Microsoft Announces Improved BSOD

In a surprise announcement today, Microsoft President Steve
Ballmer revealed that the Redmond based company will allow
computer resellers and end-users to customize the
appearance of the Blue Screen of Death (abbreviated BSOD),
the screen that displays when the Windows operating system
crashes.

The move comes as the result of numerous focus groups and
customer surveys done by Microsoft. Thousands of Microsoft
customers were asked, "What do you spend the most time
doing on your computer?"  A surprising number of
respondents said, "Staring at a Blue Screen of Death". At
54 percent, it was the top answer, beating the second place
answer "Downloading Pornography" by an easy 12 points.

"We immediately recognized this as a great opportunity for
ourselves, our channel partners, and especially our
customers." explained the excited Ballmer to a room full of
reporters.

Immense video displays were used to show images of the new
customizable BSOD screen side-by-side with the older static
version. Users can select from a collection of "BSOD
Themes", allowing them to instead have a Mauve Screen of
Death or even a Paisley Screen of Death. Graphics and
multimedia content can now be incorporated into the screen,
making the BSOD the perfect conduit for delivering product
information and entertainment to Windows users.

The Blue Screen of Death is by far the most recognized
feature of the Windows (tm) operating system, and as a
result, Microsoft has historically insisted on total
control over its look-and-feel. This recent departure from
that policy reflects Microsoft's recognition of the Windows
desktop itself as the "ultimate information portal." By
default, the new BSOD will be configured to show a random
selection of Microsoft product information whenever the
system crashes. Microsoft channel partners can negotiate
with Microsoft for the right to customize the BSOD on
systems they ship.

Major computer resellers such as Compaq, Gateway, and Dell
are already lining up for premier placement on the new and
improved BSOD.

Balmer concluded by getting a dig in against the Open
Source community. "This just goes to show that Microsoft
continues to innovate at a much faster pace than open
source. I have yet to see any evidence that Linux even has
a BSOD, let alone a customizable one."


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David Burney                            [log in to unmask]
Summit Racing Equipment   http://www.summitracing.com
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        "But I only changed one small thing !"
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  All opinions expressed herein are my own and reflect,
               in no way, those of my employer.