Remember, this is humour, so no flames about "holidays", please! :-)


>Valentine's Day is just around the corner so, just in case you are short of
>material on that subject (or just short), I submit the following.
>
>Uncle Neville On Love & Marriage
>
>I have often been told that poetry is the language of love. Just to prove
>that it is not a foreign language:
>
>LOVE
>
>Love is a funny thing,
>
>It acts like a lizard.
>
>It wraps its tail around your heart,
>
>While it nibbles on your gizzard.
>

>Don't get me wrong, I believe in love and marriage. I believe every man needs
>a wife. There are some things that go wrong that you just can't blame on the
>government.
>
>I believe it takes two to make a marriage - a single girl and an anxious
>mother.
>
>I believe that love is blind and marriage is the eye-opener.
>
>I believe that some women work so hard to make good husbands that they never
>manage to make good wives.
>
>I believe that a groom Is one guy who has underestimated the power of a
>woman.
>
>I believe a bridegroom is a guy who has lost his liberty in the pursuit of
>happiness.
>
>I believe that a marriage is like a violin. After the beautiful music is
>over, the strings are still attached.
>
>I believe that behind every successful man stands a devoted wife and a
>surprised mother-in-law.
>
>I believe that when a man opens the car door for his wife, it is either a new
>car or a new wife.
>
>I believe that marriages are made in heaven, but so is thunder and lightning.
>
>I believe that marriage is a very expensive way to get your laundry done for
>free.
>
>I believe that marriage is educational - there's no surer way to learn about
>your faults.
>
>I believe that married men will never understand why all bachelors aren't
>rich.
>
>I believe that many girls marry men just like their fathers; then people
>wonder why their mothers cry at the wedding.
>
>I believe that many never know what true happiness is until they are married
>- then it is too late.
>
>I believe that a successful marriage occurs when the couple is as deeply in
>love as they are in debt.
>
>What I don't understand about marriage is why brides buy their wedding
>dresses and men rent their wedding suits.
>
>I do know why brides blush; I've seen some of the husbands they’ve Picked.
>
>I also know that a successful marriage is like a casserole; only those
>responsible really know what goes into it.