In the spirit of Betsy Darken's last submission to RAVEN, I am
forwarding an amusing (and enlightening :) email message I recently
received.  These incidents are "supposedly" true.  Makes you
wonder.  JD

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I saw a lady at work today putting a credit card into her floppy
drive and pulling it out very quickly.  I inquired as to what she
was
doing and she said she was shopping on the Internet, and they asked
for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."
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I worked with an individual who plugged his power strip back into
itself and for the life of him could not understand why his computer
would not turn on.
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1st Person: "Do you know anything about this fax-machine?"  2nd
Person: "A little. What's wrong?"  1st Person: "Well, I sent a fax,
and the recipient called back to say  all she received was a
cover-sheet and a blank page. I tried it again, and the same thing
happened."  2nd Person: "How did you load the sheet?"  1st Person:
"It's a pretty sensitive memo, and I didn't want anyone else to read
it by accident, so I folded it so only the recipient would open it
and read it.
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I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do
you need some help?" I asked.  She replied, "I knew I should have
replaced the battery in this remote door unlocker.  Now I can't get
into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience
store) would have a battery for this?"  "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have
an alarm, too?" I asked.  "No, just this remote 'thingy,'" she
answered, handing it and the car keys to me.  As I took the key and
manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over
there and check about the batteries...it's a long walk."
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Tech Support: "What does the screen say now?"  Person: "It says,
'Hit ENTER when ready'."
Tech Support: "Well?"
Person: "How do I know when it's ready?"
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My friend called his car insurance company to tell them to change
his address from Texas to Vermont. The woman who took the call
asked where Vermont was. As he tried to explain, she interrupted
and said, "Look, I'm not stupid or anything, but what state is it
in?"
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Several years ago we had an intern who was none too swift. One day
he was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of
typing paper. What do I do?"  "Just use copier machine paper," she
told him.  With that, the intern took his last remaining blank piece
of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five blank
copies.
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I was working the help desk. One day one of the computer operators
called me and asked if anything "bad" would happen if she dropped
coins into the openings of her PC. I asked her if this was something
she was thinking of doing. She said, "Never mind" and hung up. So I
got out my trusty tool kit and paid her a visit. I opened her CPU
case and sure enough, there was 40 cents.
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One of our servers crashed. I was watching our new system
administrator trying to restore it. He inserted a CD and needed to
type a path name to a directory named "i386." He started to type it,
paused, and asked me, "Where's the key for that line thing?" I asked
what he was talking  about, and he said, "You know, that one that
looks  like an upside-down exclamation mark." I replied, "You mean
the letter "i"?" and he said, "Yeah, that's it!"
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This person had a broken lamp that he wanted to discard.
Unfortunately, the power cord ran under his refrigerator, making it
impossible to move the lamp while the cord was attached. He decided
to cut the cord, since the lamp was unusable anyway. He didn't
remember to unplug it first, however, and I found him in the hallway
rolling back and forth.
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I was in a car dealership a while ago when a large motor home was
towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of
repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in
"Twister."  I asked  the manager what had happened. He told me that
the driver had set the cruise control, then went in back to make a
sandwich. (This really happend in Louisville)
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I called a company and asked to speak to Bob. The person who
answered said, "Bob is on vacation. Would you like to hold?"
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I rented a movie from Blockbuster Video. Before the movie began, a
message came on the screen saying, "This movie has been altered to
fit your television screen." Comment from person: "How do they know
what size screen I have?"