A change of pace from reminding everyone about deadlines,etc.


Student responses to test questions (Compliments of Fred Landry):

>"The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and
>the outsides have been taken off. The purpose of the skeleton is
>something to hitch meat to. "
>
>"A permanent set of teeth consists of eight canines, eight cuspids,  two
>molars, and eight cuspidors."
>
>"The tides are a fight between the Earth and moon. All water tends
>towards the moon, because there is no water in the moon, and nature
>abhors a vacuum.  I forget where the sun joins in this fight."
>
>"A fossil is an extinct animal The older it is, the more extinct it is."
>
>"Equator: A managerie lion running around the Earth through Africa."
>
>"The body consists of three parts - the branium, the borax, and the
>abominable cavity. The branium contains the brain, the borax contains
>the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowels, of
>which there are five - a, e, i, o, and u."
>
>"Nitrogen is not found in Ireland because it is not found in a free
>state."
>
>"H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water."
>
>"To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test
>tube."
>
>"When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide."
>
>"Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin.
>Hydrogin is gin and water."
>
>"Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillars."
>
>"Blood flows down one leg and up the other."
>
>"Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, and then
>expectoration."
>
>"The moon is a planet just like the earth, only it is even deader."
>
>"Artifical insemination is when the farmer does it to the cow instead of
>the bull."
>
>"Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them
>perspire."
>
>"A super saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold."
>
>"Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas."
>
>"The pistol of a flower is its only protections agenst insects."
>
>"Germinate: To become a naturalized German."
>
>"Liter: A nest of young puppies."
>
>"Magnet: Something you find crawling all over a dead cat."
>
>"Momentum: What you give a person when they are going away."
>
>"Planet: A body of Earth surrounded by sky."
>
>"Rhubarb: A kind of celery gone bloodshot."
>
>"Vacuum: A large, empty space where the pope lives."
>
>"Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is affirmative
>or negative."
>
>"To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose."
>
>"For a nosebleed: Put the nose much lower then the body until the heart
>stops."
>
>"For dog bite: put the dog away for several days. If he has not
>recovered, then kill it."
>
>"For head cold: use an agonizer to spray the nose untill it drops in
>your throat."
>
>"To keep milk from turning sour: Keep it in the cow."
>
>"For fainting: Rub the person's chest, or, if a lady, rub her arm above
>the hand instead.  Or put the head between the knees of the nearest
>medical doctor."
>
>"To prevent contraception, use a condominium."

Mathematics Department, UT-Chattanooga
615 McCallie Ave, Chattanooga, TN  37403
phone:615-755-4580;fax: 615-755-4586; email: [log in to unmask]