Tracy Johnson
[log in to unmask]

---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Thu, 17 Dec 1998 14:34:44 -0600 (CST)
From: "Patrick R. Collins" <[log in to unmask]>
Subject: Microsoft Haiku

Yes, it's off topic, but at least it's funny.

> A little humor:
>
>
> Sony has announced its own computer operating system now
> available on its hot new portable PC called the Vaio. Instead of
> producing the cryptic error messages characteristic of Microsoft's
> Windows 95, 3.1, and DOS operating systems, Sony's chairman
> Asai Tawara said, "We intend to capture the high ground by putting
> a human, Japanese face on what has been - until now - an
> operating system that reflects Western cultural hegemony. For
> example, we have replaced the impersonal and unhelpful
> Microsoft error messages with our own Japanese haiku poetry."
> The chairman went on to give examples of Sony's new error
> messages:
>
> A file that big?
> It might be very useful.
> But now it is gone.
>
> - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
>
> The Web site you seek
> cannot be located but
> countless more exist
>
> - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
>
> Chaos reigns within.
> Reflect, repent, and reboot.
> Order shall return.
>
> - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
>
> ABORTED effort:
> Close all that you have worked on.
> You ask way too much.
>
> - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
>
> Yesterday it worked
> Today it is not working
> Windows is like that.
>
> - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
>
> First snow, then silence.
> This thousand dollar screen dies
> so beautifully.
>
> - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
>
> With searching comes loss
> and the presence of absence:
> "My Novel" not found.
>
> - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
>
> The Tao that is seen
> Is not the true Tao, until
> You bring fresh toner.
>
> - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
>
> Windows NT crashed.
> I am the Blue Screen of Death.
> No one hears your screams.
>
> - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
>
> Stay the patient course
> Of little worth is your ire
> The network is down
>
> - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
>
> A crash reduces
> your expensive computer
> to a simple stone.
>
> - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
>
> Three things are certain:
> Death, taxes, and lost data.
> Guess which has occurred.
>
> - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
>
> You step in the stream,
> but the water has moved on.
> This page is not here.
>
> - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
>
> Out of memory.
> We wish to hold the whole sky,
> But we never will.
>
> - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
>
> Having been erased,
> The document you're seeking
> Must now be retyped.
>
> - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
>
> Serious error.
> All shortcuts have disappeared.
> Screen. Mind. Both are blank.