The message on Santa was sent as "humor", a joke, not as a promotion of
religious faith. Every mall in the U.S. or street corner in a major city has
at least one Santa ringing a bell or posing for pictures. Besides, I didn't
see any complaints from Democrats when the jokes about Clinton were hitting
the 3000-List.

Anyway, I guess my point is "lighten up". It was just a harmless joke.

Happy Holidays!

_________________________________________

Rocky J. Costantino
Vice President

Computer Design & Integration, LLC
830  Broadway
Norwood,  New Jersey    07648

*       e-mail  [log in to unmask]
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*       Phone   (201) 767-8786  x224
*       Fax             (201) 767-8627


        -----Original Message-----
        From:   Reynolds, James [SMTP:[log in to unmask]]
        Sent:   Thursday, December 03, 1998 2:39 PM
        Subject:        Santa

        Maybe it's close enought to Friday for a Little Humor....

        james.



        > I think Santa Claus is a woman....
        >
        > I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I believe he's a
she.
        > Think about it. Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy,
nurturing
        > social deal, and I have a tough time believing a guy could
possibly
        > pull
        > it all off!
        >
        > For starters, the vast majority of men don't even think about
        > selecting gifts until Christmas Eve. It's as if they are all
frozen in
        > some kind of Ebenezerian Time Warp until 3 p.m. on Dec. 24th, when
        > they
        > - with amazing calm - call other errant men and plan for a
last-minute
        > shopping spree.  Once at the mall, they always seem surprised to
find
        > only Ronco products, socket wrench sets, and mood rings left on
the
        > shelves. (You might think this would send them into a fit
        > of panic and guilt, but my husband tells me it's an enormous
relief
        > because it lessens the 11th hour decision-making burden.) On this
        > count
        > alone, I'm convinced Santa is a woman. Surely, if he were a man,
        > everyone in the universe would wake up Christmas morning to find a
        > rotating musical Chia Pet under the tree, still in the bag.
Another
        > problem for a he-Santa would be getting there. First of all, there
        > would
        > be no reindeer because they would all be dead, gutted and strapped
on
        > to
        > the rear bumper of the sleigh amid wide-eyed, desperate claims
that
        > buck
        > season had been extended.  Blitzen's rack would already be on the
way
        > to
        > the taxidermist.  Even if the male Santa DID have reindeer, he'd
still
        > have transportation problems because he would inevitably get lost
up
        > there in the snow and clouds and then refuse to stop and ask for
        > directions.  Add to this the fact that there would be unavoidable
        > delays
        > in the chimney, where the Bob Vila-like Santa would stop to
inspect
        > and
        > repoint bricks in the flue. He would also need to check for carbon
        > monoxide fumes in every gas fireplace, and get under every
Christmas
        > tree that is crooked to straighten it to a perfectly upright
90-degree
        > angle.  Other reasons why Santa can't possibly be a man:
        >   *     Men can't pack a bag.
        >   *     Men would rather be dead than caught wearing red velvet.
        >   *     Men would feel their masculinity is threatened having to
be
        > seen
        >         with all those elves.
        >   *     Men don't answer their mail.
        >   *     Men would refuse to allow their physique to be described
even
        > in
        >         jest as anything remotely resembling a "bowl full of
jelly."
        >   *     Men aren't interested in stockings unless somebody's
wearing
        >         them.
        >   *     Having to do the Ho Ho Ho thing would seriously inhibit
their
        >         ability to pick up women.
        >   *     Finally, being responsible for Christmas would require a
        >         commitment.
        >
        > I can buy the fact that other mythical holiday characters are men.
        > Father Time shows up once a year unshaven and looking ominous.
        > Definite guy. Cupid flies around carrying weapons.
        > Uncle Sam is a politician who likes to point fingers
        > Any one of these individuals could pass the testosterone screening
        > test.
        > But not St. Nick. Not a chance. As long as we have each other,
good
        > will, peace onn earth, faith and Nat King Cole's version of "The
        > Christmas Song," it probably makes little difference what gender
Santa
        > is.  I just wish she'd quit dressing like a guy!!!
        >
        > James Reynolds
        > Business System Administrator
        > T.D. Williamson, Inc.
        > 6801 S. 65th W. Ave.
        > Tulsa, OK  74131
        > Phone: 918-447-5159
        > Email: [log in to unmask]
        >
        >