Leonard Berkowitz wrote :

>I hope that we are not going to have a spurt Christmas postings.

I'm afraid you are probably in for disappointment then.

>Yes, I do realize that for the vast majority of list participants, Christmas has varying levels of
importance, and I respect that. However, there are those of us for
whom Christmas is
not our holiday, and we would prefer not encountering it on the
HP3000-L.

There is always the "delete" key.

> Just for the record, I would not find an acceptable solution to this annual problem to find
Hanukkah jokes on this list. They do not belong here either.

Why? Aren't they funny?

>It is not my intention to cause offense to anyone by this note of mine.

It is also not my intention to cause offense but I think you are
taking rather a blinkered view. You are proposing that all Christmas
humour be censored from this list. Yes, not everyone observes
Christmas and not everyone treats Christmas with the same reverence
however, what you are suggesting is not so much religious censorship
as humo(u)r censorship and I cannot agree with that.

So, just to celebrate the lack of censorship on this list and in the
spirit of the season and Friday humo(u)r, I am posting the following:

One particular Christmas season a long time ago, Santa was getting
ready for his annual trip ...
but there were problems everywhere. Four of his elves got sick, and
the trainee elves did not
produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to
feel the pressure of
being behind schedule. Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her mom was
coming to visit.
This stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness the reindeer,
he found that three of them
were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out,
heaven knows where. More stress.
Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked and
the toy bag fell to the ground
and scattered the toys. So,frustrated, Santa went into the house for a
cup of coffee and a shot of
whiskey.  When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves
had hid the liquor and there
was nothing to drink. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the
coffee pot and it broke into
hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get
the broom and found that mice
had eaten the straw it was made from. Just then the doorbell rang and
Santa cussed on his way to
the door. He opened the door and there was a little angel with a great
big Christmas tree.
The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas Santa. Isn't it just
a lovely day? I have a
beautiful tree for you. Isn't it just a lovely tree? Where would you
like me to stick it?"
Thus began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas
tree.

Cheers,

John Dunlop

E-mail : [log in to unmask]
Web  : http://homepages.tcp.co.uk/~jdunlop/
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