> > A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her
> > printer. The tech asked her if she was "running it under Windows."
> > The
> > woman then responded, "No, my desk is next to the door. But that's a
> > good
> > point... The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a
> window,
> > and
> > his is working just fine."
> >
> > **************************************************************
> > Tech Support: "How much free space do you have on your hard
> > drive?"
> > Customer: "Well, my wife likes to get up there on that Internet,
> > and she downloaded ten hours of free space. Is that enough?"
> >
> > **************************************************************
> > Tech Support: "OK Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at
> > the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the
> > screen. Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager."
> > Customer: "I don't have a 'P'."
> >
> > Tech Support: "On your keyboard, Bob."
> >
> > Customer: "What do you mean?"
> > Tech Support: "'P' on your keyboard, Bob."
> > Customer: "I'm not going to do that!"
> > **************************************************************
> > Overheard in a computer shop:
> > Customer: "I'd like a mouse mat, please."
> > Salesperson: "Certainly sir, we've got a large variety."
> > Customer: "But will they be compatible with my computer?"
> > **************************************************************
> > I once received a fax with a note on the bottom to fax the
> > document back to the sender when I was finished with it, because he
> > needed
> > to keep it.
> >
> > **************************************************************
> > Customer: "Can you copy the Internet for me onto this diskette?"
> > **************************************************************
> > I work for a local ISP. Frequently we receive phone calls that go
> > something like this:
> >
> > Customer: "Hi... Is this the Internet?"
> >
> > Some people pay for their online services with checks made
> > payable to "The Internet."
> >
> > **************************************************************
> > Customer: "So that will get me connected to the Internet, right?"
> > Tech Support: "Yeah."
> > Customer: "And that's the latest version of the Internet, right?"
> > Tech Support: "Uhh... uh... uh... yeah."
> > **************************************************************
> > Tech Support: "All right... now double-click on the File Manager
> > icon."
> >
> > Customer: "That's why I hate this Windows - because of the icons
> > - I'm a Protestant, and I don't believe in icons."
> > Tech Support: "Well, that's just an industry term sir. I don't
> > believe it was meant to..."
> > Customer: "I don't care about any 'Industry Terms.' I don't
> > believe in icons."
> > Tech Support: "Well... why don't you click on the 'little
> > picture' of a file cabinet... is 'little picture' OK?"
> > Customer: [click]
> > **************************************************************
> > Customer: "My computer crashed!"
> > Tech Support: "It crashed?"
> > Customer: "Yeah, it won't let me play my game..."
> > Tech Support: "All right then, hit Control-Alt-Delete to reboot
> > it."
> > Customer: "No, it didn't crash -- it crashed!"
> > Tech Support: "Huh?"
> > Customer: "I crashed my game. That's what I said before! I
> > crashed the spaceship, and now it doesn't work."
> > Tech Support: "Click on 'File,' then 'New Game.'"
> > Customer: [pause] "Wow! How'd you learn how to do that?"
> >  ====================================================
> > You know you been on the Internet too long when...
> >
> > 1) Someone ask what's Yahoo Web address and you answer
> > 204.71.200.75
> > 2) You write in your email address as your new home address in the
> > Post Office Change of address form.
> > 3) You require a separate hard drive for all your bookmarks.
> > 4) You can't remember your phone number and give out your email
> > address to dates.
> > 5) You were a member of GEine, Compuserve, Delphi, and AOL before
> > the web even existed.
> > 6) You send email using ROT 13
> > 7) You upgrade the local cybercafe web browser on your own time.
> > 8) You have a copy of the original "Get Rich Quick" email from 1993
> > still in your inbox, unread.
> > 9) You select an apartment based on the location to the nearest
> > Major Hub.
> > 10) You plan your vacations to Silicon Valley.
> > 11) You do all your Christmas shopping at Netscape's Company store.
>