I got this today and thought the group would find a couple of them funny.
I think these are also applicable to "geeks/nerds".  Even it they aren't
they brightened my day.
These come from a daily "joke list".  If interested, check it out at
http://www.joker.org
Terry
 ----------

PERSONAL HYGIENE
 --While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job
that should be done in private using one's OWN truck keys.
 --Proper use of toiletries can forestall bathing for several days.
However, if you live alone, deodorant is a waste of good money.

DINING OUT
 --When decanting wine, make sure that you tilt the paper cup and pour
slowly so as not to "bruise" the fruit of the vine.

 --If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold it with your
fingers covering the label.

 --Remember to leave a generous tip for good service. After all,
their mobile home costs just as much as yours.

DATING (Outside the Family)
 --No matter how broke you are, never take your date flowers that were
stolen from a cemetery.

 --Be aggressive. Let her know you are interested: "I've been wanting
to go out with you since I read that stuff on the men's bathroom wall
two years ago."

 --Establish with her parents what time she is expected back.  Some
will say 10:00.  Others might say "Monday."  If the latter is the
answer, it's the boy's responsibility to get her to school on time.

THEATER ETIQUETTE
 --Refrain from talking to characters on the screen. Tests have proven
they can't hear you.

WEDDINGS
 --For the groom, at least rent a tux.  A leisure suit with a
cummerbund and a clean bowling shirt can create a natty appearance.
Though uncomfortable, say yes to socks and shoes for this special
occasion.

DRIVING ETIQUETTE
 --When  sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is
impolite to ask her to bring back beer.

TIPS FOR ALL OCCASIONS
 --Never take a beer to a job interview or ask if they press charges.

 --It's considered tacky to take a cooler to church.

 --Even if you're certain that you are included in the will, it's
considered tacky to drive a U-Haul to the funeral home.

 --If you have to vacuum the bed, it's time to change the
sheets.

 --Always provide an alibi to the police for family members.