Good morning all. I thought that I would pass this on...

Bill Lancaster

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 - Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines
 - Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
 - I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol
 - I intend to live forever - so far, so good
 - If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
 - If you ain't makin' waves, you ain't kickin' hard enough!
 - Mental backup in progress - Do Not Disturb!
 - Mind Like A Steel Trap - Rusty And Illegal In 37 States
 - Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of
 - Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have
 - The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
 - When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
 - If I worked as much as others, I would do as little as they.
 - If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked
   something.
 - Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.
 - When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.
 - Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
 - If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
 - Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?
 - What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
 - Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.
 - I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
 - I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
 - I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
 - Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
 - How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
 - Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.
 - Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
 - Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!
 - For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
 - OK, so what's the speed of dark?
 - Corduroy pillows: They're making headlines!
 - All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.