>>
>>>> Press release:
>>>>
>>>>          REDMOND,  Wash.  - Oct. 27, 1997 -- In direct response
>>>>          to  accusations made by the Department of Justice, the
>>>>          Microsoft  Corp.  announced  today  that  it  will  be
>>>>          acquiring  the federal government of the United States
>>>>          of America for an undisclosed sum.
>>>>
>>>>          "It's  actually  a  logical  extension  of our planned
>>>>          growth",  said  Microsoft  chairman  Bill  Gates,  "It
>>>>          really  is  going  to  be  a  positive arrangement for
>>>>          everyone".
>>>>
>>>>          Microsoft  representatives held a briefing in the oval
>>>>          office  of  the  White  House with U.S. President Bill
>>>>          Clinton, and assured members of the press that changes
>>>>          will  be  "minimal". The United States will be managed
>>>>          as  a  wholly  owned division of Microsoft. An initial
>>>>          public  offering is planned for July of next year, and
>>>>          the federal government is expected to be profitable by
>>>>          "Q4  1999 at latest", according to Microsoft president
>>>>          Steve Ballmer.
>>>>
>>>>          In a related announcement, Bill Clinton stated that he
>>>>          had   willingly   and   enthusiastically"  accepted  a
>>>>          position  as a vice president with Microsoft, and will
>>>>          continue  to  manage  the  United  States  government,
>>>>          reporting  directly  to  Bill Gates. When asked how it
>>>>          felt  to  give up the mantle of executive authority to
>>>>          Gates,  Clinton  smiled  and  referred  to  it  as  "a
>>>>          relief".  He  went  on to say that Gates has a "proven
>>>>          track  record",  and  that  U.S. citizens should offer
>>>>          Gates  their  "full  support  and confidence". Clinton
>>>>          will  reportedly be earning several times the $200,000
>>>>          annually  he  has earned as U.S. president, in his new
>>>>          role at Microsoft.
>>>>
>>>>          Gates  dismissed a suggestion that the U.S. Capitol be
>>>>          moved  to  Redmond  as "silly", though did say that he
>>>>          would make executive decisions for the U.S. government
>>>>          from  his  existing  office at Microsoft headquarters.
>>>>          Gates  went  on to say that the House and Senate would
>>>>          "of   course"   be   abolished.   "Microsoft  isn't  a
>>>>          democracy",  he  observed,  "and  look  how well we're
>>>>          doing".
>>>>
>>>>          When  asked  if  the  rumored attendant acquisition of
>>>>          Canada was proceeding, Gates said, "We don't deny that
>>>>          discussions     are     taking    place".    Microsoft
>>>>          representatives  closed the conference by stating that
>>>>          United  States  citizens  will be able to expect lower
>>>>          taxes,  increases in government services and discounts
>>>>          on all Microsoft products.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>          About Microsoft --------------------------------------
>>>>          Founded  in  1975,  Microsoft  (NASDAQ  "MSFT") is the
>>>>          worldwide  leader  in software for personal computers,
>>>>          and  democratic  government. The company offers a wide
>>>>          range  of  products  and services for public, business
>>>>          and  personal  use,  each designed with the mission of
>>>>          making it easier and more enjoyable for people to take
>>>>          advantage  of the full power of personal computing and
>>>>          free society every day.
>>>>
>>>>          About the United States ------------------------------
>>>>          Founded  in  1789, the United States of America is the
>>>>          most  successful  nation  in the history of the world,
>>>>          and has been a beacon of democracy and opportunity for
>>>>          over 200 years. Headquartered in Washington, D.C., the
>>>>          United   States   is  a  wholly  owned  subsidiary  of
>>>>          Microsoft Corporation.
>>>>
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