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* Paul Edwards                                    1506 Estates Way    *
* Paul Edwards & Associates                       Carrollton TX 75006 *
* Phone: (972) 242-6660                           Fax: (972) 446-9022 *
* Email: [log in to unmask]                                             *
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* Be careful, the light at the end of the tunnel may be the train     *
*   coming at you.                                                    *
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REDNECK COMPUTER TERMS

Hard drive:
  Trying to climb a steep, muddy hill with three flat tires
  and pulling a trailer load of fertilizer.

Keyboard:
  Place to hang your truck keys.

Window:
  Place in the truck to hang your guns.

Floppy:
  When you run out of Polygrip.

Modem:
  How you got rid of your dandelions.

ROM:
  Delicious when you mix it with coca cola.

Byte:
  First word in a kiss-off phrase.

Reboot:
  What you do when the first pair gets covered with
  barnyard stuff.

Network:
  Activity meant to provide bait for your trout line.

Mouse:
  Fuzzy, soft thing you stuff in your beer bottle in order
  to get a free case.

LAN:
  To borrow as in, 'Hey Delbert! LAN me yore truck.'

Cursor:
  What some guys do when they are mad at their wife and/or
  girlfriend.

Bit:
  A wager as in, 'I bit you can't spit that watermelon seed
  across the porch longways.'

Digital control:
  What yore fingers do on the TV remote.

Packet:
  What you do to a suitcase or Wal-Mart bag before a trip.