In perhaps a somewhat oddly related response to Bruce Toback's notes on
staffing among accountants, I believe that this would be a good time to
announce a major expansion of people and responsibilities at AICS Research,
Inc.
 
These announcements of promotions and additions to a corporation are common
in the legal and accounting professions. I believe that they should be in
ours, too. Thus, I have prepared a list of people who have joined us over the
last year.
 
Wirt Atmar
 
===================================
 
AICS Research is pleased to announce the
addition of the following people to its
growing corporate family:
 
 
Vice-President of Operations:
Juan der Fullie
 
Juan's responsibilities require that he provide to the President periodic and
accurate assessments of overall corporate health and well-being, basically
answering the question, "How are things going?"
 
 
Chief Legal Counsel:
Justin Case
 
Mr. Case is the only one of the new associates of AICS that is not on staff
full-time. Rather, he will be paid on retainer. Although, AICS Research has
never been involved in legal action of any sort, it was felt that it was a
matter of corporate responsibility to insure that legal representation of the
highest caliber be readily available.
 
 
Director of Information Services:
Foo Bahr
 
Foo's responsibilities require that he supervise the smooth integration of
the newest information technologies into AICS's daily operations, including
the establishment of corporate-wide client/server networks and a powerful and
influential presence on the World-Wide Web.
 
 
Chief of Protocol:
Natalie Drest
 
Miss Drest was asked to join AICS Research to, among other things, establish
an internal dress code that presents a image of power and certainty to the
outside world, in an attempt to recapture some of the magic that IBM
powerfully presented to the corporate world in the 1960's.
 
 
Director of Scheduling:
Justin Thyme
 
Justin's responsibilities, in part, will require that he insure that a
reliable supply of parts and material is available at all times while
attempting to minimize excessive on-hand parts inventories and the charges
associated with such storage, offloading the forebearance of such costs to
AICS's Strategic Partners and third-parties.
 
 
Transportation Manager:
Denton Fender
 
Denton is responsible for AICS's vast nationwide fleet of vehicles, its
maintenance, high availability and proper appearance.
 
 
Corporate Chef:
Fu Yung
 
Yung has been given the responsibility for providing a healthy diet to the
corporate officers in their exclusive dining area. This entails the
minimization of salt, fat and cholesterol in the diet, most especially the
elimination of egg.
 
 
Director of Human Resources,
Department of Internal Corporate Rectitude:
Bea Haven
 
Miss Bea Haven was asked to join the organization to re-establish a set of
rigid rules and protocols that allow operations to be conducted with the
highest sense of dignity and discipline. Miss Haven taught at a Catholic High
School in Chicago for 24 years before joining AICS Research, and proudly
brings to her job her own matched set of oak wooden rulers.
 
 
Director of Future Technologies:
Holly Grale
 
Holly's task is perhaps the most daunting of all of the new associates. She
has been given responsibility for assessing and determining the next "killer
app" product for AICS. Holly strongly believes in dismissing the comments of
the current installed base as "dissatisfied whiners." Rather, she feels that
the key to future successes lies in carefully and exhaustively reading the
trade magazines, insuring that AICS will "be on the bandwagon before it
leaves the station."
 
===================================
End of Corporate Communication
Dated: June 6, 1996
ABO-45/ER
 
Paul Cast
Director of Public Relations
AICS Research, Inc.