ANNUAL NEOLOGISM CONTEST

Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions 
to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate 
meanings for common words.

The winners are:

1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly 
answer the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are 
run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul 
flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by 
Jewish men.


Ray Shahan

Life is not a journey to the grave with the
intention of arriving safely in a pretty and
well preserved body, but rather to skid in
broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out,
and loudly proclaiming:

        -- WOW!!!   What a Ride! --

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