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December 2004, Week 2

HP3000-L@RAVEN.UTC.EDU

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Subject:
From:
Shawn Gordon <[log in to unmask]>
Reply To:
Shawn Gordon <[log in to unmask]>
Date:
Fri, 10 Dec 2004 09:51:09 -0800
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Anchors Dan Rather and Peter Jennings, NPR Reporter Cokie Roberts, along
with a U.S. Marine assigned to protect them were hiking through the Iraq
desert
one day when they were captured by Iraqis.


They were tied up, led to a village, and brought before the leader. The
leader said, "I am familiar with your western custom of granting the
condemned a last wish; so, before we kill and dismember you, do you have any
last
requests?"


Dan Rather said, "Well, I'm a Texan; so I'd like one last bowlful of hot
spicy chili." The leader nodded to an underling who left and returned with
the chili. Rather ate it all and said, "Now I can die content."


Peter Jennings said, "I am Canadian, so I'd like to hear the song 'O Canada'
one last time." The leader nodded to a terrorist who had studied the Western
world and knew the music. He returned with some rag-tag musicians and played
the anthem. Jennings sighed and declared he could now die peacefully.


Cokie Roberts said, "I'm a reporter to the end. I want to take out my tape
recorder and describe the scene here and what's about to happen.

Maybe someday someone will hear it and know that I was on the job till the
end."

The leader directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder and Roberts
dictated some comments. She then said, "Now I can die happy."

The leader turned and said, "And now, Mr. U.S.
Marine, what is your final wish?"

"Kick me in the ass," said the Marine.

"What?" asked the leader. "Will you mock us in your last hour?"

"No, I'm not kidding. I want you to kick me in the ass," insisted the
Marine.  So the leader shoved him into the open, and kicked him in the ass.

The Marine went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9mm pistol from
inside his cammies, and shot the leader dead.

In the resulting confusion, he leapt to his knapsack, pulled out his M4
carbine, and sprayed the Iraqis with gunfire. In a flash, all the Iraqis
were either dead or fleeing for their lives.


As the Marine was untying Rather, Jennings, and Roberts, they asked him,
"Why didn't you just shoot them? Why did you ask them to kick you in the
ass?"


"What," replied the Marine, "and have you three a**holes call me the
aggressor?"



Regards,

Shawn Gordon
President
theKompany.com
www.thekompany.com
www.mindawn.com
949-713-3276

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