Let's see if we can draw an analogy:
Hi all,

The following is a quick HUMOROUS attempt to explain to an internal user how/why 'things are just so confusing, slow, and unreliable these days' when I was asked about my thoughts on the 'new stuff'.  They thought it funny, so you might, too.

Current (or old) technology: Customer needs hot water, so customer turns on tap and waits a minute for the hot water to run. The water comes from a water tower that is constantly refilled via an electric pump submerged in a water well...there are actually 3 pumps, so that high-demand, and fault tolerance can be dealt with...this process has been in place for the last 70  years. 

New technology:  Need hot water, so  we build a bucket (may need to cut down tree to get wood to build bucket first...a project manager with an MBA will be assigned to this analysis). 
Carry bucket to well...this will require 6 people (three of which will be some level of manager).  By using this many people, cross-training is assured.
Lower bucket into well, but only after a 14 page document has been produced/read that details an in depth analysis of the effects of gravity on the bucket prior to and after the bucket is filled with water.
Lower bucket into well and fill with water.
Next we return bucket to point of origin (that would be where the customer is anxiously waiting for the hot water)..the return trip will need the same 6 people that brought the bucket to the well plus 8 more new people...the 8 new people will be self-proclaimed experts who've read about water coming from a well, yet they've never actually held a real bucket before, nonetheless, the management team read about these folks in a trade journal, and thus they were hired.
Since multi-processing is now all the rage (it always existed...we just lumped it into the same catch-all category of 'daily work load'), a separate team of analysts, programmers, managers, consultants and a spiritual leader will have done all the analysis, requirements documents, etc. to build a fire that will be used to heat the water from the well. That both the retrieval of the water and the fire to heat it are being done at the same time will result in a host of accolades and honors from the highest levels of management, and will be heralded as the model of efficiency.
Of course, the first bucket was made from wood, and so a new project is set up to do the 'requirements doc, cost-justification, etc.' to build/purchase a receptacle that will not only hold water, but also can be used to heat the water...we'll call this new bucket 'best of bucket'.  A later analysis will be done to determine how many people/processes/etc. will be required to transfer the water from our wooden bucket to our new 'best of bucket', and finally, we hire some outside consulting agency to determine if the 'best of bucket' should be used to retrieve the water from the  well in the first place instead of the wooden bucket...the answer will be yes, the cost of the 'yes' answer will be a million dollars, but this cost can be offset when compared to overall savings realized of using the 'best of bucket' rather than the wooden bucket over the next 625 years.
Moving on, the water is now being heated, but we will need to get the water into the 'system', so that it can eventually come out of a tap (as the customer expects)... this project will be outsourced to a third world country where the actual code will be written by people who have no idea that water can actually come from a tap already heated, nor can they even comprehend why anyone would even need heated water to come from a tap.  The time/cost estimate for the code is 2 months at 1 thousand dollars.  The actual delivery of the product will be 16 years later and the final cost will be 20 million.  While the tap will actually emit water, the hot will dispense cold, while the cold will dispense hot, however, you will not be able to dispense warm water by running the cold and hot at the same time because that was not part of the original specs.
After all is said and done, there will be outrageous and totally unprovable claims made about how much better the 'new' way is than the old, and how much money is being saved.

:-)

Ray Shahan

Life is not a journey to the grave with the
intention of arriving safely in a pretty and
well preserved body, but rather to skid in
broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out,
and loudly proclaiming:

        -- WOW!!!   What a Ride! --

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