While not all puns, I figured a little levity would be a nice change of
pace.

Practice safe eating -
always use a condiment.

A Freudian slip is when you say
one thing but mean your mother.

Shotgun wedding:
A case of wife or death.

Marriage is the mourning
after the knot before.

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

Corduroy pillows are
making headlines.

Is a book on voyeurism
a peeping tome?

Dancing cheek-to-cheek is
really a form of floor play.

Banning the bra was a big flop.

When you dream in color,
it's a pigment of your imagination.

Reading whilst sunbathing
makes you well-red.

When two egotists meet,
it's an I for an I.

Alarms:
What an octopus is.

Dockyard:
A physician's garden.

Incongruous:
Where bills are passed.

Khakis:
What you need to
start the car in Boston.

Oboe:
An English tramp.

Toboggan:
Why we go to an auction.

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