France Announces Troop Deployment
World news.




President Jacques Chirac announced today that France would be deploying
two elite units of French troops to Iraq in the event of war.  Five
hundred crack troops from the 42nd Groupement d' Instruction en
Abandonment (42nd Surrender Instruction Group) are mobilizing to assist
the Iraqi Army in the finer points of military surrender.


"The immediate capitulation of an armed force is a delicate and intricate
tactic in which we French have much experience." said Defense Ministry
spokesperson General de Armee Francois-Phillippe Hommes de Petit-Pommes.


"There is a certain protocol in laying down your arms or fleeing the
battlefield. To wave the white flag while remaining pompous and
insufferable requires experience and training.


The French Army believes it is second to none in the fine art of
surrendering quickly. The record of our armed forces in that area speaks
for itself.  The Iraqi performance in giving up without a fight during the
last Gulf War was slip-shod.  We hope to improve their level of surrender
execution for the next war."


General Hommes de Petit-Pommes further announced that 1,000 advisors from
the Regiment de Collaborateurs Francais will also be dispatched to Iraq to
assist the Iraqi people in colloborating effectively with any occupation
force.

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