This Just in from my mother-in-law (realy!):




Send in the new team of Inspectors!!!

Have you noticed anything fishy about the inspection teams who have arrived
in Iraq? They're all men!
How in the name of the United Nations does anyone expect men to find
Saddam's stash?  We all know that men have a blind spot when it comes to
finding things.
For crying' out loud!
Men can't find the dirty clothes hamper.
Men can't find the jar of jelly until it falls out of the cupboard and
splatters on the floor....  and these are the people we have sent into Iraq
to search for hidden weapons of mass destruction?
I keep wondering why groups of mothers weren't sent in.
Mothers can sniff out secrets quicker than a drug dog can find a  gram of
dope.
Mothers can find gin bottles that dads have stashed  in the attic beneath
the rafters.   They can sniff out a diary two rooms and one floor away.
They can tell when the lid of a cookie jar has been disturbed and notice
when a quarter inch slice has been shaved off a chocolate cake.
A mother can smell alcohol on your breath before you get your key in the
front door and can smell cigarette smoke from a block away.
By examining laundry, a mother knows more about their kids than Sherlock
Holmes.
And if a mother wants an answer to question, she can read an offender's
eyes quicker than a homicide detective.
So...  considering the value a mother could bring to an inspection team,
why are we sending a bunch of men who will rely on electronic equipment to
scout out hidden threats?
My mother would walk in with a wooden soup spoon in one hand, grab Saddam
by the ear, give it a good twist and snap, "Young man, do you have any
weapons of mass destruction?"   And if he tried to lie to her, she'd march
him down the street to some secret bunker and  shove his nose into a
nuclear bomb and say, "Uh, huh, and what do you call this, mister?"
Whap!   Thump!  Whap! Whap!  Whap!
And  she'd lay some stripes across his bottom with that soup spoon, then
march him home in front of the whole of Baghdad.
He'd not only come clean and apologize for lying about it, he'd cut every
lawn in Baghdad for free for the whole summer.

Inspectors!

You want the job done?

CALL MY MOTHER!!!!
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Dr. Yigal Levin
Dept. of Philosophy and Religion
University of Tennessee at Chattanooga
615 McCallie Avenue
Chattanooga TN 37403-2598
U.S.A.