TOP TWENTY REASONS YOU KNOW YOU WORK FOR THE GOVERNMENT

         1. You get really excited about a 2% pay raise.

         2. Your supervisor doesn't have the ability to do your job.

         3. You sit in a cubicle smaller than your bedroom closet.

         4. It no longer amazes you that computer security is more important
than having computers.

         5. Your office computer was just upgraded to a 200 MHz Pentium this
year.

         6. Computer specialists know less about computers than your
teenager.

         7. It's dark when you drive to and from work.

         8. You're forced to park your car a mile from the office because of
all the commander's, military, customers,
            designated contractor, VIP's, employees of the
month/quarter/year, handicapped, and visitor, parking spaces
            are by the main entrance.

         9. You see a good looking person and know they are a visitor.

        10. Appearance is more important than substance.

        11. There is never enough time to do your job, but always enough
time to prepare a briefing on it.

        12. Art involves a white board and dry markers.

        13. The suspense you were just assigned was late when you received
it and you are required to justify why.

        14. Management thinks a business trip with uncompensated mandatory
weekend travel is a perk.

        15. Although you have a telephone, pager, e-mail, FAX, company
distribution, Fed-X, US mail and co-equals sitting
            right on the other side of the partition...communication is a
continuing problem.

        16. When workers screw up they are transferred to another office to
be someone else's problem; when management
            screws up they are promoted.

        17. Your boss' favorite lines are "when you get a few minutes," "in
your spare time," "when you're freed up" and
            "I have an opportunity for you."

        18. Training is something spoken about but never seen.

        19. No travel money to do the mission, but always enough money for
another useless conference.

        20. You can name more Government employees that used to work with
you than the ones you work directly with in
            your current position.

* To join/leave the list, search archives, change list settings, *
* etc., please visit http://raven.utc.edu/archives/hp3000-l.html *