Okay, time to lighten up about Thanksgiving.

Enjoy,  If you become offended by any of these statements, lighten up!


 Signs you went Nuts on Thanksgiving:

 - Paramedics bring in the Jaws of Life to pry you out of the EZ-Boy.

 - Your after dinner moans are loud enough to signal Dr. Kevorkian.

 - The "Gravy Boat" your wife set out was a real 12' boat!

 - You get grass stains on your behind after a walk, but never sat down.

 - Your "Big Elvis Super-Belt" won't even go around your waist.

 - You receive a Sumo Wrestler application in your e-mail.

 - You set off 3 earthquake seismographs on your morning jog Friday.

 - Pricking your finger for cholesterol screening only yielded gravy.

 - You have 5 TV sets side-by-side to catch all the football games.

 - That rash on your stomach turns out to be steering wheel burn.

 - Representatives from the Butterball Hall of Fame called twice.

 - You consider gluttony as your patriotic duty.

 - It looks like the left-overs are gonna last until Christmas.

 - Your arms are too short to reach the keyboard & delete this.


 Thanksgiving Riddles:

 Which side of the turkey has the most feathers?
 The outside!

 What is the best thing to put into stuffing?
 Your teeth!

 What is the key to a good Thanksgiving dinner?
 The tur-key!

 Did the little Pilgrims eat their turkey with their fingers?
 No, they never ate their fingers!

 Why were the Pilgrims afraid of the turkey?
 Because he was always a'gobblin!

 Why didn't the Pilgrim want to make the bread?
 It's a crummy job!

 Why didn't the turkey want any lunch?
 He was already stuffed!

 What part of the turkey can play in a band?
 The drum-stick!

 What can you never eat for Thanksgiving dinner?
 Breakfast or lunch!

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