Sorry for the waste of bandwidth, but this is good humor, and I know there
are at least a few on the list who will appreciate it!
>
>DEMOCRAT
>You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for
>being successful. You vote people into office that put a tax on your
>cows,forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people
>you voted for then take the tax money, buy a cow and give it to your
>neighbor. You feel righteous. Barbara Streisand sings for you.
>
>SOCIALIST
>You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your
>neighbor. You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his
>cow.
>
>REPUBLICAN
>You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So?
>
>COMMUNIST
>You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you
>with milk. You wait in line for hours to get it. By this time, it is
>expensive and sour.
>
>CAPITALISM - AMERICAN STYLE
>You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of
>cows.
>
>DEMOCRACY - AMERICAN STYLE
>You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have
>to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one
>cow,which was a gift from your government.
>
>BUREAUCRACY - AMERICAN STYLE
>You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one,
>milks the other, pays you for the milk, and then pours the milk down the
>drain.
>
>AMERICAN CORPORATION
>You have two cows. You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do
>an IPO on the 2nd one. You force the two cows to produce the milk of
>four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an
>announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are
>reducing expenses. Your stock goes up.
>
>FRENCH CORPORATION
>You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
>You go to lunch. Life is good.
>
>JAPANESE CORPORATION
>You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the
>size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. They learn
>to travel on unbelievably crowded trains. Most are at the top of
>their class at cow school.
>
>GERMAN CORPORATION
>You have two cows. You engineer them so they are all blond, drink
>lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles
>an hour. Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per
>year.
>
>ITALIAN CORPORATION
>You have two cows but you don't know where they are. While ambling
>around, you see a beautiful woman. You break for lunch. Life is
>good.
>
>RUSSIAN CORPORATION
>You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows.
>You have some more vodka. You count them again and learn you have 42
>cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop
>counting cows and open another bottle of vodka. You produce your
>10th 5-year plan in the last 3 months. The Mafia shows up and takes
>over however many cows you really have.
>
>FLORIDA CORPORATION
>You have a black cow and a brown cow. Everyone votes for the best
>looking one. Some of the people who like the brown one best, vote
>for the black one. Some people vote for both. Some people vote for neither.
>Some
>people can't figure out how to vote at all.
>Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which is the
>best-looking one.
>
>NEW YORK CORPORATION
>You have fifteen million cows. You have to choose which one will
>be the leader of the herd, so you pick some fat cow from Arkansas.
>
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