*       Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those
little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards. NAIVE.

*       Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing
section in a swimming pool?

*       If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one
enjoys it?

*       There are three religious truths:
        1. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
        2. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the
Christian faith.
        3. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at
Hooters.

*       Why do we say something is out of whack? What's a whack?

*       If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

*       Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

*       Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale
bread to begin with?

*       What hair color do they list on the driver's licenses of a bald man?

*       I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little
spoons and forks so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

*       Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What
are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures
on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver
the mail?

*       If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are
the others here for?

*       You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

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