I received the following today.  It is very apropos to the recent discussion
about the genders of various nouns in most languages.  I don't necessarily
subscribe to the sentiments expressed herein and apologize to those who are
offended by the (mostly male-bashing) sexism.

> Gender words
>
> From the Washington Post Style Invitation, in which it was
> postulated that English should have male and female nouns,
> and readers were asked to assign a gender to nouns of their
> choice and explain their reason.
>
> The best submissions:
>
> SWISS ARMY KNIFE -- male, because even though it appears useful for a
> wide variety of work, it spends most of its time just opening bottles.
>
> KIDNEYS -- female, because they always go to the bathroom in pairs.
>
> TIRE -- male, because it goes bald and often is over inflated.
>
> HOT AIR BALLOON: male, because to get it to go anywhere you have to
> light a fire under it... and, of course, there's the hot air part.
>
> SPONGES -- female, because they are soft and squeezable and retain
> water.
>
> WEB PAGE -- female, because it is always getting hit on.
>
> SHOE -- male, because it is usually unpolished, with its tongue
> hanging out.
>
> COPIER -- female, because once turned off, it takes a  while to warm
> up.
> Because it is an effective reproductive device when the right buttons
> are pushed. Because it can wreak havoc when the wrong buttons are pushed.
>
> ZIPLOC BAGS -- male, because they hold everything in, but you can
> always see right through them.
>
> SUBWAY -- male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.
>
> HOURGLASS -- female, because over time, the weight shifts to the
> bottom.
>
> HAMMER -- male, because it hasn't evolved much over the last 5,000
> years, but it's handy to have  around.
>
> REMOTE CONTROL -- female...Ha! You thought I'd say male. But
> consider, it gives man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while
> he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.

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