FOREST GUMP IN HEAVEN

The day finally arrives. Forest Gump dies and goes to
Heaven. He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself.
The gates are closed however, and Forest approaches the
gatekeeper.

St. Peter says, "Well, Forest, it's certainly good to see
you. We have heard a lot about you. I must inform you that
the place is filling up fast, and we've been administering
an entrance examination for everyone. The tests are short,
but you need to pass before you can get into Heaven."

Forest responds, "It sure is good to be here St. Peter. I
was looking forward to this. Nobody ever told me about no
entrance exam. Sure hope the test ain't too hard; life was
hard enough."

St. Peter goes on, "Yes, I know, Forest, but the test I have
for you is only three questions:

First question: What days of the week begin with the letter
"T"?

Second: How many seconds are there in a year?

Third: What is God's first name?"

Forest goes away to think the questions over. He returns the
next day and goes up to St. Peter to try to answer the exam
questions.

St. Peter waves him up and says, "Now that you have had a
chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers."

Forest says, "Well, the first one - how many days in the
week begin with the letter 'T'? Shucks, that one's easy.
That'd be Today and Tomorrow."

The Saint's eyes open wide and he excalims, "Forest, that's
not what I was thinking, but ... you do have a point, and I
guess I didn't specify, so I'll give you credit for that
answer.

How about the next one?" asks St. Peter, "How many seconds
in a year?"  "Now that ones harder," says Forest, "but I
thunk and thunk about that and I guess the only answer can
be twelve."

Astounded, St. Peter says, "Twelve? Twelve! Forest how in
Heaven's name could you come up with twelve seconds in a
year?"

Forest says, "Shucks, there's gotta be twelve: January
second, February second, March second..."

"Hold it," interrupts St. Peter. "I see where you're going
with this, and I guess I see your point, though that wasn't
quite what I had in mind, but I'll give you credit for that
one, too. Let's go on to the final question: Can you tell me
God's first name?"

Forest replied, "Andy." "OK, OK," said a frustrated St.
Peter, "I can understand how you came up with your answers
to my first two questions, but just how in the world did you
come up with the name of Andy as the first name of God?"

"Shucks, that was the easiest one of all," Forest replied.
"I learned it from the song ..."ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY
TALKS WITH ME, ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN...'

St. Peter opened the gate and said, "Run, Forest, Run."

--
Donna Garverick     Sr. System Programmer
925-210-6631        [log in to unmask]

"Unix _is_ user friendly.
It's just very selective about who its friends are.
And sometimes even best friends have fights."

>>>MY opinions, not Longs Drug Stores'<<<

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