Some of y'all may have noted that recently Oracle has been
touting that their "high-speed cache, coupled with our database,
will run your web site three times faster than IBM or MS or we
will give you $1,000,000 in cash".

It sounds pretty good as marketing PR.....  but check the
fine print at:    http://www.oracle.com/guarantee/
under "Important details, limitations and conditions".  There
are a number of "interesting" restrictions and clauses that tilt
the playing field in Oracle's direction here.....  two that really
catch my eye:

> 5. YOU WILL NEED TO PURCHASE THE PRODUCTS AND
> SERVICES RECOMMENDED BY ORACLE, AND
> UNDERTAKE YOUR BEST EFFORTS TO OPTIMIZE YOUR
> WEB SITE IN ACCORDANCE WITH OUR
> RECOMMENDATIONS.

....  note the "and services" in above.......  and:

> 7. If, after you convert your web site to Oracle as required, it
> does not run at least three times as fast, we will have up to 90
> days during which we may tune the performance of your site.

Especially note that YOU the prospective sucker.... oops...:
"customer"....  are obligated to pay Oracle for anything and
everything *they* feel like doing to tune your web site for 90
days....   Let's see (just guessing here):   Five full-time Oracle
systems engineers for 90 days:  $1600 x 5 x 90 = $720,000...
Plus of course you've got to buy Oracle 8i and the Oracle 9i
App server.....  hmmm..... yup:  For a system of any size, I
can see where if Oracle loses, they might indeed pay you a
million bucks....  while you the "customer" end up owing Oracle
about $1.5 million for software and services....

SIDEBAR:  Another group at our activity once spent many
months struggling to get a major Oracle app up...  Finally
gave up and hired Oracle for something like $350K (I don't
recall how long that covered the Oracle people)....  A few
years later the whole thing was turned off, because nobody
could afford to continue to maintain it....

And then of course there is the usual Oracle caveat;  that all
dealings with them in connection with this offer must be kept
confidential.

I don't lose any sleep over it, but I wonder from time to time:
How does Oracle continue to get away with this stuff ??....

Ken Sletten