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July 2000

SCUBA-SE@RAVEN.UTC.EDU

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SouthEast US Scuba Diving Travel list <[log in to unmask]>
Date:
Tue, 11 Jul 2000 15:43:10 -0500
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Since we sometimes devolve into pseudo-scientific discussions, I attach the
following I received from a PhD friend of mine on the faculty of CUNY.

>  The following list of phrases and their definitions might help  you
> understand the mysterious language of science and  medicine. These special
> phrases are also applicable to anyone  reading a PhD dissertation or
> academic paper.
>
>  "IT HAS LONG BEEN KNOWN"... I didn't look up the original  reference.
>
>  "A DEFINITE TREND IS EVIDENT"... These data are practically  meaningless.
>
>  "WHILE IT HAS NOT BEEN POSSIBLE TO PROVIDE DEFINITE ANSWERS TO  THE
QUESTIONS"... An unsuccessful experiment, but I still hope  to get it
> published.
>
>  "THREE OF THE SAMPLES WERE CHOSEN FOR DETAILED STUDY"... The  other
> results
> didn't make any sense.
>
>  "TYPICAL RESULTS ARE SHOWN"... This is the prettiest graph.
>
>  "THESE RESULTS WILL BE IN A SUBSEQUENT REPORT"... I might get  around to
> this sometime, if pushed/funded.
>
>  "IN MY EXPERIENCE"... Once
>
>  "IN CASE AFTER CASE"... Twice
>
>  "IN A SERIES OF CASES"... Thrice
>
>  "IT IS BELIEVED THAT"... I think.
>
>  "IT IS GENERALLY BELIEVED THAT"... A couple of others think  so, too.
>
>  "CORRECT WITHIN AN ORDER OF MAGNITUDE"... Wrong.
>
>  "ACCORD1NG TO STATISTICAL ANALYSIS"... Rumor has it.
>
>  "A STATISTICALLY-ORIENTED PROJECTION OF THE SIGNIFICANCE OF  THESE
> FINDINGS"... A wild guess.
>
>  "A CAREFUL ANALYSIS OF OBTAINABLE DATA"... Three pages of  notes were
> obliterated when I knocked over a glass of beer.
>
>  "IT IS CLEAR THAT MUCH ADDITIONAL WORK WILL BE REQUIRED BEFORE  A
> COMPLETE
> UNDERSTANDING OF THIS PHENOMENON OCCURS"... I don't  understand it
>
>  "AFTER ADDITIONAL STUDY BY MY COLLEAGUES"... They don't  understand it
> either.
>
>  "THANKS ARE DUE TO JOE BLOTZ FOR ASSISTANCE WITH THE  EXPERIMENT AND TO
> CINDY ADAMS FOR VALUABLE DISCUSSIONS"... Mr.  Blotz did the work and Ms.
> Adams explained to me what it  meant.
>
>  "A HIGHLY SIGNIFICANT AREA FOR EXPLORATORY STUDY"... A totally  useless
> topic selected by my committee.
>
>  "IT IS HOPED THAT THIS STUDY WILL STIMULATE FURTHER  1NVESTIGATION IN
> THIS
> FIELD"... I quit.

CH

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. That
way, if he gets angry, he'll be a mile away - and barefoot.

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