HP3000-L Archives

June 2000, Week 4

HP3000-L@RAVEN.UTC.EDU

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Subject:
From:
Jim Phillips <[log in to unmask]>
Reply To:
Jim Phillips <[log in to unmask]>
Date:
Wed, 28 Jun 2000 10:36:31 -0400
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Here are some ways to really annoy people big time...



Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".

Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting
entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip..."

Speak only in a "robot" voice.

Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.

Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announcing its
your property.

Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99
copies.

Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.

Name your dog "Dog".

Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather
conditions "to keep them tuned up".

Reply to everything someone says with "That's what YOU think!"

Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors
upstairs for "violating your airspace".

Forget the punch line to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real
hoot".

Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can
of Lysol.

Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and copy them to your
boss.

Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play
along to avoid looking ignorant.

Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors
you are a "spider person".

Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."

Wear a special hip holster for your remote control.

Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the
room.

To really annoy people, stand on a street corner, pointing a hair drier at
passing traffic, and watch it slow down.

Yell random numbers while someone is counting.

Take a sock puppet to dinner with you. When the waiter comes to ask you what
you want, consult the sock. When the check comes argue with the sock loud
enough so everyone can hear you about who will pay the bill, throw him down
and say "Fine you pay!" then leave.

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