How about some post tax day humor.  Enjoy.

 MAJOR U.S. RESEARCH UNIVERSITY DISCOVERS NEW ELEMENT!

      The heaviest element known to science was recently
      discovered by investigators at a major U.S. research
      university. The element, tentatively named Administratium,
      has no protons or electrons and thus has an atomic number
      of 0. However, it does have 1 neutron, 125 assistant
      neutrons, 75 vice neutrons, and 111 assistant vice
      neutrons. This gives it an atomic mass of 312.

      These 312 particles are held together by a force that
      involves the continuous exchange of meson-like particles
      called morons. It is also surrounded by vast quantities of
      lepton-like particles called peons.

      Since it has no electrons, Administratium is inert.
      However, it can be detected chemically as it impedes every
      reaction it comes in contact with. According to the
      discoverers, a minute amount of Administratium causes one
      reaction to take over four days to complete when it would
      have normally occurred in less than one second.

      Administratium has a normal half-life of approximately
      three years, at which time it does not decay, but instead
      undergoes a reorganization in which assistant neutrons,
      vice neutrons, and assistant vice neutrons exchange places.

      In fact, an Administratium sample's mass actually INCREASES
      over time, since with each reorganization some of the
      morons inevitably become neutrons, forming new isotopes.

      This characteristic of moron promotion leads some
      scientists to speculate that perhaps Administratium is
      spontaneously formed whenever morons reach a certain
      quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is
      referred to as "critical morass."