>       > > * Juan Valdez names his donkey after you.
>       > >
>       > > * You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked.
>       > >
>       > > * You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
>       > >
>       > > * You sleep with your eyes open.
>       > >
>       > > * You have to watch videos in fast-forward.
>       > >
>       > > * You lick your coffeepot clean.
>       > >
>       > > * Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
>       > >
>       > > * The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.
> >
>       > >
>       > > * You can type sixty words a minute with your feet.
>       > >
>       > > * You can jump-start your car without cables.
>       > >
>       > > * Your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low."
>       > >
>       > > * You don't sweat, you percolate.
>       > >
>       > > * You've worn out the handle on your favorite coffee mug.
>       > >
>       > > * You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.
>       > >
>       > > * You've worn the finish off you coffee table.
>       > >
>       > > * The Taster's Choice couple wants to adopt you.
>       > >
>       > > * Starbuck's owns the mortgage on your house.
>       > >
>       > > * You're so wired you pick up FM radio.
>       > >
>       > > * Your life's goal is to "amount to a hill of beans."
>       > >
>       > > * Instant coffee takes too long.
>       > >
>       > > * You want to be cremated just so you can spend eternity in a
> coffee
> can.
>       > >
>       > > * You name your cats "Cream" and "Sugar."
>       > >
>       > > * Your lips are permanently stuck in the sipping position.
>       > >
>       > > * Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V.
> hookup.
>