Before (or after) reading the following letter, readers may want to visit
these locations:

http://www.kbtoys.com/genProduct.html/PID/2431939/ctid/17/ls/default

http://villagevoice.com/alertrd.php3?article=46483

August 22

Dear Blue Box:

With great disappointment, I am returning the George W. Bush "action
figure," which you will find enclosed in this package. I am seeking a full
refund for this defective toy for the following reasons:

1] Despite its billing as an action figure to pair up with my GI Joes, it
was obviously not made to be a soldier. Never mind the lack of any scar on
its face. The bigger problem is that I cannot find any weapons of mass
destruction anywhere in the box. Heck, I can't find any weapons at all!

2] When I pull the string to make it talk, the results are muffled and
unintelligible or make no sense at all. Is this supposed to be some kind of
rotten joke on your customers?

3] Every time I turn the doll upside down and shake it, white powder comes
out. What's with that?

4] Even worse, my GI Joe dolls don't seem to like this one at all, and I'm
beginning to understand why:

All last week, during the grueling sand box battles in my back yard between
my GI Joes and the hideous armies of Grog, the GW Bush doll was missing. I
thought it was lost for good. But then, after my GI Joes won the day and
made the sand box safe again, there the Bush doll was, front and center,
looking fabulous and unruffled in pristine army fatigues. Evidently it'd
been playing dress-up all week with my daughter's Ken doll but was right
there to take the credit for the GI Joes' victory.

My GI Joes are all saying that the GW Bush doll is stealing money out of
their pockets and giving it to my daughter's Ken and Barbie dolls. I didn't
believe this at first, but this afternoon I spied a nice, new doll house in
my daughter's room and now I'm thinking it must be so.

I'm certain you can understand my desire to return this toy to you. Your
quality control supervisor must be asleep on the job. Frankly, I don't know
why you even produced this doll in the first place. If you value your
reputation at all, you will recall it immediately.

All this is terrible, but the worst part of all is that this is not the
doll I originally ordered! I carefully filled out the order form, yet the
toy I received was not the one I expected. I wonder how many other
customers ended up with a different "action figure" than the one they
requested. I hope the rumor that you cannot correct this error for two more
years is untrue.

Please either send me the action figure I ordered or refund my money. Thank
you for your prompt attention to this matter.