Strictly speaking, nominees for this award must eliminate themselves from
the gene pool "with extreme prejudice" to officially qualify.

Nick Honerkamp

At 06:23 PM 1/12/2003 -0500, you wrote:
>Nobody died in the last one but I guess it still qualifies.
>
> >>2002 Darwin Awards Nominees
> >
> >
> >>Quality in, Quality out?
> >>
> >>
> >>Hard to believe, but another year has passed...
> >>(For those who don't know about it, the Darwin
> >>Awards are awarded every year to the person(s)
> >>who died in the stupidest way, thereby removing
> >>themselves from the gene pool...)
> >>
> >>The nominees are:
> >>
> >>NOMINEE No. 1: [San Jose Mercury News]: An
> >>unidentified man, using a shotgun like a club to
> >>break a former girlfriend' windshield,
> >>accidentally shot himself to death when the gun
> >>discharged, blowing a hole in his gut.
> >>
> >>NOMINEE No. 2: [Kalamazoo Gazette] James Burns,
> >>34, (a mechanic) of Alamo, Mich., was killed in
> >>March as he was trying to repair what police
> >>describeas a "farm-type truck." Burns got a
> >>friend to drive the truck on a highway while
> >>Burns hung underneath so that he could ascertain
> >>the source of a troubling noise. Burns' clothes
> >>caught on something, however, and the other
> >>man found Burns "wrapped in the drive shaft."
> >>
> >>NOMINEE No. 3: [Hickory Daily Record] Ken Charles
> >>Barger, 47,accidentally shot himself to death in
> >>December in Newton, N.C. Awakening to the sound of
> >>a ringing telephone beside his bed, he reached
> >>for the phone but grabbed instead a Smith &
> >>Wesson .38 Special, which discharged when he drew
> >>it to his ear.
> >>
> >>NOMINEE No. 4: [UPI, Toronto] Police said a
> >>lawyer demonstrating the safety of windows in a
> >>downtown Toronto skyscraper crashed through a
> >>pane with his shoulder and plunged 24 floors to
> >>his death. A police spokesman said Garry Hoy, 39,
> >>fell into the courtyard of the Toronto Dominion
> >>Bank Tower early Friday evening as he was
> >>explaining the strength of the building's windows
> >>to visiting law students. Hoy previously had
> >>conducted demonstration of window strength
> >>according to police reports. Peter Lawyers,
> >>managing partner of the firm Holden Day Wilson,
> >>told the Toronto Sun newspaper that Hoy was
> >>one of the best and brightest" members of the 200-
> >>man association.
> >>
> >>NOMINEE No. 5: [Bloomberg News Service] A
> >>terrible diet and a room with no ventilation are
> >>being blamed for the death of a man killed by his
> >>own 'gas'.  There was no mark on his body but an
> >>autopsy showed large amounts of methane gas in
> >>his system. His diet had consisted primarily of
> >>beans and cabbage-just the right combination of
> >>foods. It appears the man died in his sleep from
> >>breathing the poisonous cloud that was hanging
> >>over his bed. Had he been outside or had his
> >>windows been opened, it would not have been fatal.
> >>But the man was shut up in his near-airtight
> >>bedroom. According to the article, "He was a big
> >>man with a huge capacity for creating "this deadly
> >>gas." Three of the rescuers got sick and one was
> >>hospitalized.
> >>
> >>NOMINEE No. 6: ["News of the Weird"] Michael
> >>Anderson Godwin made News of the Weird
> >>posthumously. He had spent several years awaiting
> >>South Carolina's electric chair on a murder
> >>conviction before having his sentence reduced to
> >>life in prison. While sitting on a metal toilet
> >>in his cell and attempting to fix his small TV
> >>set, he bit into a wire and was electrocuted.
> >>
> >>NOMINEE NO. 7: ["The Indianapolis Star"]. A
> >>cigarette lighter may have triggered a fatal
> >>explosion in Dunkirk, Indiana. A Jay County man
> >>using acigarette lighter to check the barrel of a
> >>muzzle loader was killed Monday night when the
> >>weapon discharged in his face, sheriff's
> >>investigators said.  Gregory David Pryor, 19,
> >>died in his parents' rural Dunkirk home about
> >>11:30p.m. Investigators said Pryor was cleaning a
> >>54-caliber muzzleloader that had not been firing
> >>properly. He was using the lighter to look into
> >>the barrel when the gunpowder ignited.
> >>
> >>NOMINEE No. 8: [Reuters, Mississauga, Ontario] A
> >>man cleaning a bird feeder on the balcony of his
> >>condominium apartment in this Toronto suburb
> >>slipped and fell 23 stories to his death. Stefan
> >>Macko, 55, was standing on a wheeled chair when
> >>the accident occurred, said Inspector D'Arcy
> >>Honer of he Peel Regional police. "It appears the
> >>chair moved and he went over the balcony," Honer
> >>said.
> >>
> >>AND FINALLY: [Arkansas Democrat Gazette] Two
> >>local men were seriously injured when their
> >>pickup truck left the road and struck a tree near
> >>Cotton Patch on State Highway 38 early Monday
> >>morning. Woodruff County deputy Dovey Snyder
> >>reported the accident shortly after midnight
> >>Monday. Thurston Poole, 33, of Des Arc and Billy
> >>Ray Wallis, 38, of Little Rock are listed in
> >>serious condition at Baptist Medical Center.
> >>
> >>The accident occurred as the two men were
> >>returning to Des Arc after a frog-gigging trip.
> >>On an overcast Sunday night, Poole's pick-up truck
> >>headlights malfunctioned. The two men concluded
> >>that the headlight fuse on the older model truck
> >>had burned out. As a replacement fuse was not
> >>available, Wallis noticed that the 22 caliber
> >>bullet from his pistol fit perfectly into the
> >>fuse box next to the steering wheel column. After
> >>inserting the bullet, the headlights again began
> >>to operate properly and the two men proceeded
> >>toward the White River bridge.
> >>
> >>After traveling about 20 miles and just before
> >>crossing the river, the bullet apparently
> >>overheated, discharged and struck Poole in the
> >>right testicle. The vehicle swerved sharply right
> >>exiting the pavement and striking a tree. Poole
> >>suffered only minor cuts and abrasions from the
> >>accident, but will require surgery to repair the
> >>other wound. Wallis sustained a broken clavicle
> >>and was treated and released. "Thank God we
> >>weren't on that bridge when Thurston shot his
> >>balls off or we might both be dead" stated Wallis.
> >>
> >>"I've been a trooper for ten years in this part
> >>of the world, but this is a first for me. I can't
> >>believe that those two would admit how this
> >>accident happened," said Snyder.
> >>
> >>Upon being notified of the wreck, Lavinia,
> >>Poole's wife,  asked how many frogs the boys had
> >>caught and did anyone get them from the truck.
> >
> >
> >_________________________________________________________________
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>
>Fritz Efaw,
>per/pro
>The Sacco-Vanzetti Chair
>of Excellent Edu-Babble


* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Nicholas Honerkamp, Ph.D.
Director, Institute of Archaeology
University of Tennessee at Chattanooga
615 McCallie Avenue
Chattanooga, TN 37403-2598
423.425.4325  / fax 423.425.2251
[log in to unmask]  http://www.utc.edu/~nhonerka/