Here's more Mother's Day reading--a little less soulful, but a lot of fun.

Lala

Category: 'Kids Can Be Pretty Clever'
A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5, and Ryan, 3.  The
boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Sensing the
opportunity for a moral lesson, the mother said, "If Jesus were sitting
here, He would say, 'Let my brother have the first pancake. I can wait." At
that point, Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you be
Jesus."

Category: 'I Can See How You Might Think That'
A father was at the beach with his children when his four-year-old son ran
up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore, where a seagull lay
dead in the sand. "Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked. "He died
and went to Heaven," the dad replied. The boy thought a moment and then
said, "Did God throw him back down?"

Category: 'Oops!'
After the church service a little boy told the pastor, "When I grow up, I'm
going to give you some money." "Well, thank you," the pastor replied, "but
why?" "Because my daddy says you're one of the poorest preachers we've ever
had."

Category: 'Oops!'
A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their
six-year old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?" "I
wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied. "Just say what you hear Mommy
say," the wife answered. The daughter bowed her head and said, "Lord, why
on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"

Category: 'Oh, Well!'
A mother was teaching her three-year-old The Lord's Prayer. For several
evenings at bedtime, the child repeated it after the mother. Then one night
the child was ready to solo. The mother listened with pride to the
carefully enunciated words, right up to the end. "And lead us not into
temptation, but deliver us some e-mail"...

Category: 'I Can See How You Might Think That'
A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, and
looked at the old pages as he turned them. Suddenly, something fell out of
the Bible, and he picked it up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf
from a tree that had been pressed in between the pages.  "Momma, look what
I found," the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?" his mother
asked. With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered: "I think
it's Adam's suit!"

Category: 'Oh, I Get It'
A father was reading Bible stories to his young son. He read, "The man
named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his
wife looked back and was turned to salt." His son then asked, "What
happened to the flea?"

Category: 'It Makes Sense to Me'
A three-year-old boy went with his dad to see a litter of kittens. On
returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother, There were 2 boy
kittens and 2 girl kittens." "How did you know?" his mother asked. "Daddy
picked them up and looked underneath," he replied. "I think it's printed on
the bottom."

Category: 'Talking But Not Communicating'
A three-year-old put his shoes on by himself. His mother noticed that the
left shoe was on the right foot. She said, "Son, your shoes are on the
wrong feet." He looked up at her with a raised brow and said,  "Don't kid
me, Mom. They're the only feet I got!."

Category: 'You've Got to Be Kidding Me!'
On the first day of school, about mid-morning, the kindergarten teacher
said, "If anyone has to go to the bathroom, hold up two fingers." A little
voice from the back of the room asked, "How will that help?"

Category: 'Oh, I Get It!''
A mother and her young son returned from the grocery store and began
putting away the groceries. The boy opened the box of animal crackers and
spread them all over the table. "What are you doing?" his mother asked.
"The box says not to eat them if the seal is broken" the boy explained.
"I'm looking for the seal."
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Oralia Preble-Niemi,Ph.D.
Professor and Head
Foreign Languages & Literatures
University of Tennessee at Chattanooga
Chattanooga, TN  37403
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