I forward the following in honor of Dr. Yigal Levin:

>   Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 a piece
on those little
>bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards:
Naive
>
>   Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like
making a peeing
>section in a swimming pool?
>
>   If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that
mean that one
>enjoys it?
>
>
>   Imponderables ...If you take an Oriental person and spin
him around
>several times, does he become disoriented? ...
>
>   If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't
people from Holland
>called Holes? ...
>
>   Why do we say something is out of whack? What's a whack?
..
>
>   Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy
adultery? ...
>
>   If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
>
>   If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? ...
>
>   When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts" and
you put your two
>cents in . . . what happens to the other penny? ...
>
>   Why is the man who invests all your money called a
broker? ...
>
>   Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they
just stale bread
>to begin with? ...
>
>   When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
...
>
>   Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but
a person who
>drives a race car not called a racist? ...
>
>   Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
>
>   Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things? ..
>
>   Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one? ..
>
>   "I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the
English language.
>Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? ..
>
>   If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked,
doesn't it follow that
>  electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys
deranged,
>models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners
depressed? ..
>
>   Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks? ..
>
>   What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of
bald men?..
>
>   I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a
whole lot more
>as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they're
cramming for their
>final exam. ..
>
>   I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny
little spoons
>and forks so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use?
Toothpicks?
>
>   Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post
Office?  What are
>we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put
their pictures on
>the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while
they deliver the
>   mail?
>
>   If it's true that we are here to help others, then what
exactly are the
>others here for? ...
>
>   You never really learn to swear until you learn to
drive. ..
>
>   No one ever says, "It's only a game" when their team is
winning.
>
>   Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it
didn't zigzag?
>
>   Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime
next door went
>nuts.
>
>   If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose? ...
>
>   Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
>
>   Live Well. Laugh Often.

--
Tyson Land
Library Associate II
Circulation/Reserve Desk

University of Tennessee at Chattanooga
Lupton Library
615 McCallie Avenue
Dept 6456
Chattanooga, TN 37403-2598
(423) 425-4501 (Circulation desk)
(423) 425-2366 (Circulation work room)

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"Let everyone sweep in front of his own door and the
whole world will be clean."
- Goethe