Original Message --

Date:         Thu, 6 Mar 2003 10:41:42 -0500
Reply-To:     Yigal Levin <[log in to unmask]>
From:         Yigal Levin <[log in to unmask]>
Subject:      Groaners
In-Reply-To:  <[log in to unmask]>
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Subject: Fw: Groaners


Some of these are cute...








1. A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired.


2. What's the definition of a will? It's a dead giveaway.


3. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.


4. A backward poet writes inverse.


5. In democracy it's your vote that counts; In feudalism it's your count
that votes.


6. She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.


7. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.


8. If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.


9. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.


10. Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat
minor.


11. When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.


12. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.


13. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum
Blownapart.


14. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.


15. Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.


16. He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.


17. Every calendar's days are numbered.


18. A lot of money is tainted. 'Taint yours and 'taint mine.


19. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.


20. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.


21. A plateau is a high form of flattery.


22. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at
large.


23. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.


24. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.


25. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.


26. When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd
dye.


27. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.


28. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.


29. Acupuncture is a jab well done.


30. Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.










Dr. Yigal Levin
Dept. of Philosophy and Religion
University of Tennessee at Chattanooga
615 McCallie Avenue
Chattanooga TN 37403-2598
U.S.A.