Some quick jokes for smart people
 Submitted by Danny Ocean

* He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
* Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
* A day without sunshine is like ... night.
* On the other hand, you have different fingers.
* Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
* I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
* When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
* Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.
* Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
* I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
* You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted
then used against you.
* I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
* Honk if you love peace & quiet.
* Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
* Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
* It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed
it on the cost of living.
* The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something
right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
* It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end,
someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.
* You can't have everything, where would you put it?
* Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's
population.
* The things that come to those who wait are usually the things left by
those who got there first.
* A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
* It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
* I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.
* I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
* Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright
until you hear them speak.
* 4 out of 3 people have trouble with fractions.



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Dr. Yigal Levin
Dept. of Philosophy and Religion
University of Tennessee at Chattanooga
615 McCallie Avenue
Chattanooga TN 37403-2598
U.S.A.