>These are TRUE stories!!
>
>
>
>The true high point of the e-mail year has arrived.  Yes
>it is the 1999 Darwin Awards.  For those sheltered few of
>you who are not fully aware of the Darwin Awards.  These
>awards are given annually (and posthumously) to
>those individuals who did the most for the human gene pool
>by removing themselves from it (via death).
>
>DARWIN AWARD RUNNERS-UP:
>#1 - LOS ANGELES, CA. Ani Saduki, 33, and his brother
>decided to remove a bees' nest from a shed on their
>property with the aid of a pineapple.
>A pineapple is an illegal firecracker which is the
>explosive equivalent of one-half stick of dynamite.  They
>ignited the fuse and retreated to watch from inside their
>home, behind a window some 10 feet away from the hive/shed.
>The concussion of the explosion shattered the window
>inwards, seriously lacerating Ani.  Deciding Mr. Saduki
>needed stitches, the brothers headed out to go to a nearby
>hospital.  While walking towards their car,  Ani was stung
>three times by the surviving bees.  Unbeknownst to either
>brother, Ani was allergic to bee venom, and died of
>suffocation en-route to the hospital.
>
>#2 - Derrick L. Richards, 28, was charged in April in
>Minneapolis with third-degree murder in the death of his
>beloved cousin, Kenneth E. Richards. According to police,
>Derrick suggested a game of Russian roulette and put a
>semiautomatic pistol (instead of the more traditional
>revolver) to Ken's head and fired.
>
>#3 - PHILLIPSBURG, NJ. An unidentified 29 year old male
>choked to death on a sequined pastie he had orally removed
>from an exotic dancer at a local establishment.  "I didn't
>think he was going to eat it," the dancer identified only
>as "Ginger" said, adding "He was really drunk."
>
>#5 - MOSCOW, Russia-A drunk security man asked a colleague
>at the Moscow bank  they were guarding to stab his
>bulletproof vest to see if it would protect him against a
>knife attack.  It didn't, and the 25-year-old guard died of
>a heart wound.  (It's good to see the Russians getting into
>the spirit of the Darwin Awards.)
>
>#6 - In FRANCE, Jacques LeFevrier left nothing to chance
>when he decided to commit suicide.  He stood at the top of
>a tall cliff and tied a noose around his neck.  He tied the
>other end of the rope to a large rock.  He drank some
>poison and set fire to his clothes.
>He even tried to shoot himself at the last moment.  He
>jumped and fired the pistol.  The bullet missed him
>completely and cut through the rope above him.  Free of the
>threat of hanging, he plunged into the sea.  The
>sudden dunking extinguished the flames and made him vomit
>the poison.
>He was dragged out of the water by a kind fisherman and was
>taken to a hospital, where he died of hypothermia.
>
>#7 - RENTON, WASHINGTON, USA.  A Renton, Washington man
>tried to commit a robbery.  This was probably his first
>attempt, as suggested by the fact that he had no previous
>record of violent crime, and by his terminally stupid
>choices as listed below:
>        1.      The target was H&J Leather & Firearms...a gun shop.
>        2.      The shop was full of customers, in a state where a
>substantial portion of the adult population is licensed to carry
>concealed handguns in public places.
>       3.    To enter the shop, he had to step around a marked Police
>patrol car parked at the front door.
>        4.      An officer in uniform was standing next to the counter,
>having coffee before reporting to duty.  Upon seeing the
>officer, the would-be robber announced a holdup and fired a
>few wild shots.  The officer and a clerk promptly returned
>fire, removing him from the gene pool.  Several other
>customers also drew their guns, but didn't fire.  No one
>else was hurt.
>
>        AND THE 1999 DARWIN AWARD WINNER IS.....
>THOMPSON, MANITOBA, CANADA.  Telephone relay company night
>watchman Edward Baker, 31, was killed early Christmas
>morning by excessive microwave radiation exposure.  He was
>apparently attempting to keep warm next to a
>telecommunications feed-horn.  Baker had been suspended on
>a safety violation once last year, according to Northern
>Manitoba Signal Relay spokesperson Tanya Cooke.  She noted
>that Baker's earlier infraction was for defeating a safety
>shut-off switch and entering a restricted maintenance
>catwalk in order to stand in front  of the microwave dish.
>He had told coworkers that it was the only way he could
>stay warm during his twelve-hour shift at the station,
>where winter temperatures often dip to forty below zero.
>Microwaves can heat water molecules within human
>tissue in the same way that they heat food in
>microwave ovens.  For his Christmas shift, Baker reportedly
>brought a twelve pack of beer and a plastic lawn chair,
>which he positioned directly in line with the strongest
>microwave beam.  Baker had not been told about a tenfold
>boost in microwave power planned that night to handle the
>anticipated increase in holiday long-distance calling
>traffic.  Baker's body was discovered by the daytime
>watchman, John Burns, who was greeted by an odor he mistook
>for a Christmas roast he thought Baker must have prepared
>as a surprise.  Burns also reported to NMSR company
>officials that Baker's unfinished beers had exploded.
>


David Baker
Service Coordinator
Tennessee Early Intervention System
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