Nice! I see you're getting in the spirit!

Yigal

At 10:20 AM 6/11/2002 -0400, Tyson Land wrote:
>I forward the following in honor of Dr. Yigal Levin:
>
>>   Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 a piece
>on those little
>>bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards:
>Naive
>>
>>   Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like
>making a peeing
>>section in a swimming pool?
>>
>>   If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that
>mean that one
>>enjoys it?
>>
>>
>>   Imponderables ...If you take an Oriental person and spin
>him around
>>several times, does he become disoriented? ...
>>
>>   If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't
>people from Holland
>>called Holes? ...
>>
>>   Why do we say something is out of whack? What's a whack?
>..
>>
>>   Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy
>adultery? ...
>>
>>   If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
>>
>>   If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? ...
>>
>>   When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts" and
>you put your two
>>cents in . . . what happens to the other penny? ...
>>
>>   Why is the man who invests all your money called a
>broker? ...
>>
>>   Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they
>just stale bread
>>to begin with? ...
>>
>>   When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
>...
>>
>>   Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but
>a person who
>>drives a race car not called a racist? ...
>>
>>   Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
>>
>>   Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things? ..
>>
>>   Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one? ..
>>
>>   "I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the
>English language.
>>Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? ..
>>
>>   If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked,
>doesn't it follow that
>>  electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys
>deranged,
>>models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners
>depressed? ..
>>
>>   Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks? ..
>>
>>   What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of
>bald men?..
>>
>>   I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a
>whole lot more
>>as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they're
>cramming for their
>>final exam. ..
>>
>>   I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny
>little spoons
>>and forks so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use?
>Toothpicks?
>>
>>   Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post
>Office?  What are
>>we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put
>their pictures on
>>the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while
>they deliver the
>>   mail?
>>
>>   If it's true that we are here to help others, then what
>exactly are the
>>others here for? ...
>>
>>   You never really learn to swear until you learn to
>drive. ..
>>
>>   No one ever says, "It's only a game" when their team is
>winning.
>>
>>   Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it
>didn't zigzag?
>>
>>   Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime
>next door went
>>nuts.
>>
>>   If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose? ...
>>
>>   Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
>>
>>   Live Well. Laugh Often.
>
>--
>Tyson Land
>Library Associate II
>Circulation/Reserve Desk
>
>University of Tennessee at Chattanooga
>Lupton Library
>615 McCallie Avenue
>Dept 6456
>Chattanooga, TN 37403-2598
>(423) 425-4501 (Circulation desk)
>(423) 425-2366 (Circulation work room)
>
>*****************************************************************
>
>"Let everyone sweep in front of his own door and the
>whole world will be clean."
>- Goethe
>
Dr. Yigal Levin
Dept. of Philosophy and Religion
University of Tennessee at Chattanooga
615 McCallie Avenue
Chattanooga TN 37403-2598
U.S.A.