----- Original Message ----- 




> Tips For Success in Business
> Never walk down the hall without a document in your hands. People with 
> documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for 
> important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they’re 
> heading for the cafeteria.
> 
> People with the newspaper in their hands look like they’re heading for the 
> bathroom. Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at 
> night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hours than 
> you do.
> 
> Use computers to look busy. Any time you use a computer, it looks like work 
> to the casual observer. You can send and receive personal e-mail, calculate 
> your finances and generally have a blast without doing anything remotely 
> related to work.
> 
> These aren’t exactly the societal benefits that everybody from the computer 
> revolution expected but they’re not bad either. When you get caught by your 
> boss–and you will get caught–your best defense is to claim you’re teaching 
> yourself to use the new software, thus saving valuable training dollars.
> 
> You’re not a loafer, you’re a self-starter. Offer to show your boss what you 
> learned. That will make your boss scurry away like a frightened salamander.
> 
> Messy desk. Top management can get away with a clean desk. For the rest of 
> us, it looks like you’re not working hard enough. Build huge piles of 
> documents around your workspace.
> 
> To the observer, last year’s work looks the same as today’s work; it’s 
> volume that counts. Pile them high and wide. If you know somebody is coming 
> to your cubicle, bury the document you’ll need halfway down in an existing 
> stack and rummage for it when he/she arrives.
> 
> Voice mail. Never answer your phone if you have voice mail. People don’t 
> call you just because they want to give you something for nothing– they call 
> because they want YOU to do work for THEM. That’s the way to live. Screen 
> all your calls through voice mail.
> 
> If somebody leaves a voice mail message for you and it sounds like impending 
> work, respond during lunch hour. That way, you’re hardworking and 
> conscientious even though you’re being a devious weasel. If you diligently 
> employ the method of screening incoming calls and then returning calls when 
> nobody is there, this will greatly increase the odds that they will give up 
> or look for a solution that doesn’t involve you.
> 
> The sweetest voice mail message you can ever hear is “Ignore my last 
> message. I took care of it.” If your voice mailbox has a limit on the number 
> of messages it can hold, make sure you reach that limit frequently. One way 
> to do that is to never erase any incoming messages. If that takes too long, 
> send yourself a few messages.
> 
> Your callers will hear a recorded message that says, “Sorry, this mailbox is 
> full”–a sure sign that you are a hardworking employee in high demand.
> 




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