Breaking news.....the French government has countered the white flag factory workers' strike demands with an offer of a 24 hour work week and free wine, cheese and croissants during breaks......

Ron
-----Original Message-----
From: UTC Staff E-Mail List [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf Of Richard Rice
Sent: Tuesday, September 13, 2005 11:47 AM
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: [UTCSTAFF] FW: Security Levels update around the world

I wish to make a minor correction. Reliable sources report that the white 
flag factory in France was not destroyed by fire...it was shut down by 
striking workers demanding a 30 hour work week and free croissants during 
breaks. The government is considering outsourcing.

RR


At 11:10 AM 9/13/2005 -0400, Melissa Anyiwo wrote:
>Some times it just gets a little ridiculous ­ it¹s good to laugh...
>
>
>The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent bombings, the
>level has just been raised from 'miffed' to "peeved'. Soon though, the
>levels may be raised yet again to "irritated' or even "a bit cross".
>Londoners have not been a "bit cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea
>supplies all but ran out.
>
>Terrorists have been re-categorised from "tiresome" to "a bloody
>nuisance", the last time a "bloody nuisance" warning level was issued
>was during the great fire in 1666.
>
>Be aware that the French government announced yesterday that it has
>raised its terror alert level from RUN to HIDE. The only two higher
>levels in France are Surrender and Collaborate.
>
>The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white
>flag factory, effectively paralysing their military capability.
>
>It's not only the French that are on a heightened level of alert,
>the Italians have increased their alert level from "shout loudly and
>excitedly" to "elaborate military posturing". Two more levels remain,
>"ineffective combat operations" and "change sides".
>
>The Germans also increased their alert state from "disdainful arrogance"
>to "dress in uniform and sing marching songs". They have two higher
>levels, "invade a neighbour" and "lose".
>
>Seeing this reaction in continental Europe the Americans have gone from
>"isolationism" to "find another oil-rich nation in the middle east ripe
>for regime change". Their remaining higher alert states are "attack the
>world" and "beg the British for help".
>
>Finally here in GB we've gone from "pretend nothing's happening" to
>"make another cup of tea". Our higher levels are "remain resolutely
>cheerful" and "win".