Reef Fish wrote:

>>People's feelings aren't always rational.  I feel that humor is best 
> 
> enjoyed with like minded friends, not rationalized or discussed.  Humor i
> s 
> a subtle thing and I guess that the human truth that lies behind the word
> s 
> of Jim Church could be missed by some.  Most everyone I've shared this 
> 
> with, until now, got it.  Making comparisons of this to your own 
> statements makes me very sad.  In any case, it is not something I care to
>  
> discuss with you.
> 
> Very well.  What you said about HUMOR is certainly true.
> 
> BUt what I was referring to was, GIVEN Carol's reaction (based
> on HER misunderstding of much that was in my post) it's only
> FAIR PLAY to apply the SAME STANDARDS to what was said by 
> Church.

Bob, I agree and that's the point.  In applying the same standards, I was most definitely offended by your comments to Carole and by your follow up.  I believe there were many others that spoke up and agree.  I never would have sent Jim's tome to Carole if I had an inkling that it might offend.  Like I said, feelings, as well as the perspective we take and the judgments we make are not always rational, regardless of how we might try to rationalize them.  


I can only answer for myself, but it seems that the same standards were applied to your post by others.  That's why I said that most everyone I shared Jim's post with, got it.  You remain the exception.  I'm very sorry that you don't see the difference, but I believe in that misunderstanding lies the root of your disagreeable relationships with others.  


 
> That was why I said:
> 
> 
>>>Take a look at my reply to Crusty the SECOND TIME, and
>>>look at those items on which I have commented what Carol
>>>MIGHT have said, had those items were made by ME!
>>>
>>>
>>>Be HONEST -- how many of Chucch's items would have offended
>>>her, GIVEN the way she took offense of what I had said.
>>>
>>>I was merely drawing a PARALLEL, in retrospect.
>>>
>>>I ask Carol the same!!
>>>
>>>I now ask Crusty the very same, since he did not follow-up
>>>on it.
>>>
>>>BE HONEST!
>>
>>
>>In my off-list conversation with Carole, when my post would not 
> 
> temporarily pass through the SE spam filter and I sent it directly to her
> , 
> she confirmed that she was not offended by Jim's words, in fact to the 
> 
> contrary.  
> 
> You are EVADING the HONESTY issue, for YOURSELF.  If you have 
> any kind of decency for FAIR PLAY, at least address the 
> itemized lines I cited Church, and tell us WHY Carol would
> not have been offended.
> 
> I want Carol to make the same ITEMIZED examination, not a 
> summary as you gave (what did YOU expect?  Her to say she
> was offended by YOUR post -- without being pointed out the
> SIMILARITY of the specific items to what offended her in
> MY post?)
> 
> You are smarter than that, Crusty.

Don't give me too much credit for being smart.  Frankly, I think smart is much overrated! :-)  ...and would rather be known for other qualities like a kindness, compassion, generosity, honesty, loyalty, humor, 'fings like that, which most matter in a relationship, even an online relationship.  I have been completely honest with you and have evaded nothing.  I answered your question:  "Be HONEST -- how many of Chucch's items would have offended her, GIVEN the way she took offense of what I had said."  As I stated honestly, using the same standard, *none of them* and in fact Carole backed that up.   


I will not in this forum go through each and every line of Jim's tome to explain to you the humor, wit, and wisdom contained there in.  However, I would be pleased to discuss this with you in person, face to face anytime.  


You never answered my questions from the previous post:  "You've never seemed to care much about offending others on this list, so why should this incident in particular now bother you?  To you, do the feelings of others really matter in cyberspace?"  This entire issue is about feelings, and things that cannot be measured with logic, it's an entirely different metric, one of the heart.  Justify as we might our actions, our lives are weighed on this balance and often times we are found wanting.  We all have blind spots.  Again, these things are best spoken of in person, face to face.  


Very best regards,
Russ