I have had these in the vault for about six monthes, and thought I
should pass it on. I hope everyone has not already seen this.
...................................................

The 2001 Darwin Awards
It's that time again! These awards are given each year to bestow upon
(the
remains of) those individuals who, through single-minded self-sacrifice,
have done the most to remove undesirable elements from the human gene
pool.


5th RUNNER-UP
Goes to a San Anselmo, California man who died when he hit a lift tower
at
the Mammoth Mountain ski area while riding down the slope on a foam pad.
The
22-year old David Hubal was pronounced dead at Central Mammoth Hospital.
The
accident occurred about 3 a.m., the Mono County Sheriff's department
said.
Hubal and his friends apparently had hiked up a ski run called Stump
Alley
and undone some yellow foam protectors from lift towers, said Lt. Mike
Donnelly of the Mammoth Lakes Police Department. The pads are used to
protect skiers who might hit the towers. The group apparently used the
pads to slide down the ski slope and Hubal crashed into a tower. It has
since been investigated and determined the tower he hit was one with its
pad removed.


4th RUNNER-UP
Goes to Robert Puelo, 32, who was apparently being disorderly in a St.
Louis
market. When the clerk threatened to call the police, Puelo grabbed a
hot dog, shoved it into his mouth and walked out without paying. Police
found him unconscious in front of the store. Paramedics removed the
six-inch wiener from his throat where it had choked him to death.


3rd RUNNER-UP
Goes to poacher Marino Malerba of Spain, who shot a stag standing above
him on an overhanging rock and was killed instantly when it fell on him.


2nd RUNNER-UP
"Man loses face at party." A man at a West Virginia party (probably
related to the winner last year, a man in Arkansas who used the .22
bullet to replace the fuse in his pickup truck), popped a blasting cap
into his mouth and bit down, triggering an explosion that blew off his
lips, teeth, and tongue. Jerry Stromyer, 24, of Kincaid, bit the
blasting cap as a prank during the party late Tuesday night, said Cpl.
M.D. Payne. "Another man had it in an aquarium hooked to a battery and
was trying to explode it." "It wouldn't go off and this guy said I'll
show you how to set it off." He put
it into his mouth, bit down and it blew all his teeth out and his lips
and
tongue off, Payne said. Stromyer was listed in guarded condition
Wednesday
with extensive facial injuries, according to a spokesperson at
Charleston Area Medical Division. "I just can't imagine anyone doing
something like that," Payne said.


1st RUNNER-UP
Doctors at Portland University Hospital said an Oregon man shot through
the skull by a hunting arrow is lucky to be alive and will be released
soon from
the hospital. Tony Roberts, 25, lost his right eye last weekend during
an initiation into a men's rafting club, Mountain Men anonymous
(probably known
now as Stupid Mountain Men Anonymous) in Grant's Pass, Oregon. A friend
tried to shoot a beer can off his head, but the arrow entered Roberts'
right
eye. Doctors said that had the arrow gone 1 millimeter to the left, a
major blood vessel would have been cut and Roberts would have died
instantly. Neurosurgeon Johnny Delashaw at the university Hospital in
Portland said the
arrow went through 8 to 10 inches of brain with the tip protruding at
the rear of his skull, yet somehow managed to miss all major blood
vessels. Delashaw also said that had Roberts tried to pull the arrow out
on his own
he surely would have killed himself. Roberts admitted afterwards that he
and
his friends had been drinking that afternoon. Said Roberts, "I feel so
dumb about this." No charges have been filed, but the Josephine County
district
attorney's office said the initiation stunt is under investigation.


Now THIS YEAR'S WINNER
(The late) John Pernicky and his friend, (the late) Sal Hawkins, of the
great state of Washington, decided to attend a local Metallica concert
at the George Washington amphitheatre. Having no tickets (but having had
18 beers between them), they thought it would be easy to "hop" over the
nine foot fence and sneak into the show. They pulled their pickup truck
over to the fence and the plan was for Mr. Pernicky, who was 100-pounds
heavier than Mr. Hawkins) to hop the fence and then assist his friend
over. Unfortunately for (the late) Mr. Pernicky, there was a 30-foot
drop on the other side of the fence. Having heaved himself over, he
found himself crashing through a
tree. His fall was abruptly halted (and broken, along with his arm) by a
large branch that snagged him by his shorts. Dangling from the tree with
a
broken arm, he looked down and saw some bushes below him. Possibly
figuring the bushes would break his fall, he removed his pocket knife
and proceeded
to cut away his shorts to free himself from the tree. Finally free, Mr.
Pernicky crashed into holly bushes. The sharp leaves scratched his
ENTIRE body and now, without the protection of his shorts, a holly
branch penetrated his rectum. To make matters worse, on landing, his
pocket knife penetrated his thigh. Mr. Hawkins, seeing his friend in
considerable pain and agony, threw him a rope and pull him to safety by
tying the rope to the pickup truck and slowly driving away. However, in
his drunken haste/state,
he put the truck into reverse and crashed through the fence, landing on
his friend and killing him. Police arrived to find the crashed pickup
with its driver thrown 100 feet from the truck and dead at the scene
from massive internal injuries. Upon moving the truck, they found John
under it, half-naked, scratches on his body, a holly stick in his
rectum, a knife in
his thigh, and his shorts dangling from a tree branch 25-feet in the
air. Congratulations, gentlemen: You win!