Please, Please do not feel offended if you will not laugh about ...
we in our team like it (with one exception :-)

Best reagards, Andreas Schmidt, CSC, Germany
(working for a client in the Chemical Industry bypacking sheets like this
(?) to their products)



MATERIAL SAFETY DATA SHEET NO. EZ36C-24-36
"WOMAN" A CHEMICAL ANALYSIS
Element: Woman
Symbol: Wo
Discoverer: Adam
Atomic mass: Accepted as 53.6 kg; may vary from 40-200 kg.
Occurrence: Copious quantities in all urban areas, concentrations noted in
and around malls.
Physical properties:
1. Surface usually covered in painted film
2. Boils at nothing, freezes without any known reason
3. Melts if given special treatment
4. bitter if used incorrectly
5. Exists naturally in various states: ranges from virgin metal to common
ore.
6. Yields to pressure at correct points
Chemical properties:
1. Has great affinity for gold, silver, and a range of precious stones
2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances
3. may explode spontaneously with no warning and for no reason
4. Insoluble in liquids, but activity increases greatly after saturation in
alcohol
5. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man
Common uses:
1. Highly ornamental, particularly in sports cars
2. Can be a great aid in relaxation
3. Very effective cleaning agent
Tests:
1. Pure specimens turn rosy pink in their natural state
2. Turns green when placed besides a better specimen
Potential hazards:
1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands
2. Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be maintained at
different locations provided specimens do not come into direct contact with
one another
****WARNING*************WARNING*************WARNING****
PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO THIS ELEMENT CAN CAUSE
SEVERE PHYSICAL, MENTAL, AND FINANCIAL DAMAGE