An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years.
He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a
set
of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.
When he went back in a month to the doctor for the follow-up visit, the
doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really
pleased
that you can hear again."
The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit
around
and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!"
<drum roll>
Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench
under
a tree when one turns to the other and says . . .
"Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I
know
you're about my age. How do you feel?"
Slim says, "I feel just like a newborn baby."
"Really!? Like a new-born baby!?"
"Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants".
<drum roll>
An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after
eating,
the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, "Last night we went out
to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very
highly."
The other man said, "What is the name of the restaurant?"
The first man thought and thought and finally said, "What is the name
Of that flower you give to someone you love? You know... the one that's
red and has thorns."
"Do you mean a rose?"
"Yes, that's the one," replied the man. He then turned towards the
Kitchen and yelled, "Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to
last
night?"
<drum roll>
Hospital regulations require a wheelchair for patients being discharged.
However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly
gentleman--already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at
his feet--who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital.
After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him
to the elevator.
On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him.
"I don't know," he said. "She's still upstairs in the bathroom
changing out of her hospital gown."
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