Circulates in our company ... if somebody is interested in joining the Cup he
should obey this ;-)
(allthough the U.S. boys won't stay long ... hehe)

Have a nice weekend, best regards, Andreas Schmidt, CSC, Germany


>World Cup Guidelines for American Tourists
>
>
>The following advisory for American travelers heading for France was
>compiled from information provided by the US State Department, the
>Central Intelligence Agency, the US Chamber of Commerce, the Food and
>Drug Administration, the Centers for Disease Control, and some very
>expensive spy satellites that the French don't know about.  It is
>intended as a guide for American travelers only.
>
>General Overview
>
>France is a medium-sized foreign country situated in the continent of
>Europe.  It is an important member of the world community, though not
>nearly as important as it thinks.  It is bounded by Germany, Spain,
>Switzerland and some smaller nations of no particular consequence and
>with not very good shopping.
>
>France is a very old country with many treasures, such as the Louvre
>and EuroDisney.  Among its contributions to western civilization are
>champagne, Camembert cheese and the guillotine.
>
>Although France likes to think of itself as a modern nation, air
>conditioning is little used and it is next to impossible to get decent
>Mexican food.  One continuing exasperation for American visitors is
>that the people willfully persist in speaking French, though many will
>speak English if shouted at.  As in any foreign country, watch your
>change at all times.
>
>The People
>
>France has a population of 54 million people, most of whom drink and
>smoke a great deal, drive like lunatics, are dangerously oversexed,
>and have no concept of standing patiently in line.  The French people
>are in general gloomy, temperamental, proud, arrogant, aloof, and
>undisciplined; and those are their good points.
>
>Most French citizens are Roman Catholic, though you would hardly guess
>it from their behavior.  Many people are communists, and topless
>sunbathing is common.  Men sometimes have girls' names like Marie, and
>they kiss each other when they hand out medals.
>
>American travelers are advised to travel in groups and to wear baseball
>caps and colorful trousers for easier mutual recognition.
>
>Safety
>
>In general, France is a safe destination, though travelers are advised
>that, from time to time, it is invaded by Germany.  By tradition, the
>French surrender more or less at once and, apart from a temporary
>shortage of Scotch whisky and increased difficulty in getting baseball
>scores and stock market prices, life for the visitor generally goes on
>much as before.
>
>A tunnel connecting France to Britain beneath the English Channel has
>been opened in recent years to make it easier for the Government to
>flee to London.
>
>History
>
>France was discovered by Charlemagne in the Dark Ages.  Other important
>historical figures are Louis XIV, the Huguenots, Joan of Arc, Jacques
>Cousteau and Charles de Gaulle, who was President for many years and is
>now an airport.
>
>Government
>
>The French form of government is democratic but noisy.  Elections are
>held more or less continuously, and always result in a run-off.  For
>administrative purposes, the country is divided into regions,
>departments, districts' municipalities, cantons, communes, villages,
>cafes, booths, and floor tiles.
>
>Parliament consists of two chambers, the Upper and Lower (though,
>confusingly, they are both on the ground floor), whose members are
>either Gaullists or communists, neither of whom are to be trusted,
>frankly.  Parliament's principal preoccupations are setting off atomic
>bombs in the South Pacific, and acting indignant when anyone complains.
>
>According to the most current State Department intelligence, the
>President now is someone named Jacques.  Further information is not
>available at this time.
>
>Culture
>
>The French pride themselves on their culture, though it is not easy to
>see why.  All their songs sound the same, and they have hardly ever made
>a movie that you would want to watch for anything but the nude scenes.
>And nothing, of course, is more boring than a French novel.
>
>Cuisine
>
>Let's face it, no matter how much garlic you put on it, a snail is just
>a slug with a shell on its back.  Croissants, on the other hand, are
>excellent, though it is impossible for most Americans to pronounce this
>word.  In general, travelers are advised to stick to cheeseburgers at
>leading hotels such as Sheraton and Holiday Inn.
>
>Economy
>
>France has a large and diversified economy, second only to Germany's in
>Europe, which is surprising because people hardly work at all.  If they
>are not spending four hours dawdling over lunch, they  are on strike and
>blocking the roads with their trucks and tractors.  France's principal
>exports, in order of importance to the economy, are wine, nuclear
>weapons, perfume, guided missiles, champagne, high-caliber weaponry,
>grenade launchers, land mines, tanks, attack aircraft, miscellaneous
>armaments and cheese.
>
>Public Holidays
>
>France has more holidays than any other nation in the world.  Among its
>361 national holidays are 197 saints' days, 37 National Liberation Days,
>16 Declaration of Republic Days, 54 Return of Charles de Gaulle in
>Triumph as if he Won the War Single-Handed Days, 18 Napoleon Sent into
>Exile Days, 17 Napoleon Called Back from Exile Days, and 112 France is
>Great and the Rest of the World is Rubbish Days.  Other important
>holidays are National Nuclear Bomb Day January 12), the Feast of
>St.Brigitte Bardot Day (March 1), and National Guillotine Day
>(November 12).
>
>Conclusion
>
>France enjoys a rich history, a picturesque and varied landscape, and a
>temperate climate.  In short, it would be a very nice country if it
>weren't inhabited by French people.
>
>The best thing that can be said for it is that it is not Germany.
>
>A Word of Warning
>
>The consular services of the United States government are intended
>solely for the promotion of the interests of American businesses such
>as McDonald's, Pizza Hut and the Coca-Cola Corporation. In the event
>that you are the victim of a crime or serious injury involving at least
>the loss of a limb, report to the American Embassy between the hours of
>5.l5 am and 5.20 am on a Tuesday or Wednesday, and a consular official
>who is supremely indifferent to your plight will give you a list of
>qualified dentists or something similarly useless.
>
>Remember, no one ordered you to go abroad.  Personally, we always take
>our holidays at Miami Beach, and you are advised to as well.
>
>Thank you and good luck.