Word Play

a.. Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in
Seine.

b.. A backward poet writes inverse.

c.. A man's home is his castle, in a manor of
speaking.

d.. Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.

e.. Practice safe eating - always use condiments.

f.. Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death

g.. A man needs a mistress just to break the
monogamy.

h.. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

i.. Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor
play.

j.. Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

k.. Condoms should be used on every conceivable
occasion.

l.. Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.

m.. When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.

n.. A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is
two tired.

o.. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead
giveaway.)

p.. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a
banana.

q.. In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your
count     
     votes.

r.. She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg
but broke   
     it.

s.. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

t.. If you don't pay your exorcist, you get
repossessed.

u.. With her marriage, she got a new name and a
dress.

v.. When a clock is hungry, it goes back four
seconds.

w.. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is
fully       
     recovered.
  
x.. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge
it.

y.. Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down
under.

z.. He often broke into song because he couldn't find
the key.

aa.. Every calendar's days are numbered.

ab.. A lot of money is tainted - It taint yours and
it taint   
      mine.

ac.. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

ad.. He had a photographic memory which was never
developed.

ae.. A plateau is a high form of flattery.

af.. A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison
is a small
      medium at large.
  
ag.. Those who get too big for their britches will be
exposed in 
      the end.

ah.. Once you've seen one shopping center, you've
seen a mall.

ai.. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know
basis.

aj.. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

ak.. Acupuncture is a jab

* To join/leave the list, search archives, change list settings, *
* etc., please visit http://raven.utc.edu/archives/hp3000-l.html *